Why was I out after dark in my pajamas with a toddler?

That must have been what the neighbors were wondering.

I found myself outside, after dark, initially pointing my finger and "fake" yelling at a light as my son watched from his window upstairs.  My husband went through this routine too.  After several weeks of my son being frightened at night and several attempts at trying to figure out what he's scared of (which sometimes shifts around to different things) I think we may have made headway.  At least I hope we did.

After my son initially said it was the neighbors' light that scared him, he then said, "the little guy".   My husband and I looked at each other on the dark street and instantly knew what he was scared of.  At Halloween, one of our neighbors had a little  "scary guy" that lit up and moved suddenly on their porch.  When this happened, I overcame my surprise and acted like it was funny and touched the character and tried to show my son it was nothing to be afraid of.  He looked at me puzzled but nothing more had come of it at that time.

Tonight, as my son said he was scared of the little guy, both my husband and I told him he wasn't there- he was from Halloween and there is nothing scary now, it's going to be Christmas and we are going to celebrate Christmas, there's nothing scary on the porch.  My son, unconvinced, wanted me to show him.  So I walked to the end of our street and down to the house at the end of the next street, in my pajamas on a cold night.  Thankfully the people had their porch well lit (I thought it would be more than weird, but bordering on creepy if I walked up their steps in my pajamas in the darkness of the night).  I showed my son that the porch was empty.  He felt marginally better.  Now apparently, he's scared of something else.  But he can't say his parents aren't dedicated to helping him, where they can, to face his fears.

Happy Thanksgiving!

Taking a little break from a blog today after a great week with Family and celebrating all we are Thankful for (And Great Food).  Have a great holiday and don't shop too much!

Meg

If I could teach what my 3 year old knows...

So I've spoken on here about ice skating before.  My son is interested in all things sport, and he is amazingly still interested in ice skating and hockey, even though it's a little more advanced (and involves more balance) than a lot of his other sports pursuits.  But let me speak a little more about what my son has shown me.

The other day, it was in the seventies and I knew the ice skating rink in the middle of our town was open.  Perfect, I thought!  If I was going to take my son skating and have to support his weight, what better way to do it than in a T-shirt and without all the winter gear you normally need.  We went down to the ice skating rink and found out they didn't open for another 2 hours.  My son had been really excited, and I felt really bad about not knowing the hours (apparently they change dependent on if school is in session).

I then told my son if he took a good nap, we would go after the nap.  He woke up from the nap and said he wanted to go, "tomorrow".  I knew "tomorrow" we were supposed to have gale force winds and it was going to be 30 degrees colder.  I called up my husband and we made an impulsive plan.  I took my son to the skating rink and he immediately was excited again.  I couldn't put on his skates or mine, fast enough.  He was actually able to walk (and run) in his double-bladed skates.  We went through a period of "wear a helmet, helmet doesn't fit, try another helmet".  Once that was settled, we embarked for several trips around the ice.  Staff members of the rink encouraged my son and I don't remember how many teenagers remarked on how cute he was.  One girl came over and grabbed his hand and was explaining to him to put his arms out like an airplane and bend his knees.  He didn't know what bend his knees meant, so I explained, "like sliding into first base"  At one point, he refused to put his feet down and I was skating around with about 30 pounds dangling between my legs.  Somewhere at this point, I teetered forward.  Determined not to fall on top of my three year old, complete with ice blades, I simultaneously threw my weight backwards and lifted him in the air.  He thought it was the best thing ever.  I wasn't quite as thrilled about totally falling on the ice (I'm actually a decent skater).  A teenage boy came over and held him so I could right myself.  He giggled.  "Falling is fun!"

He then pushed my hands away and began to show a little bit of independence.  At one point, he whispered, "So if I fall I'm not going to break the ice, right?"  I told him with a laugh, "if your mommy fell and didn't break the ice, you definitely can't- this ice doesn't break and you don't have to worry about that."

As he began skating on his own, he told me he didn't want to skate on the edge, but wanted to skate in the middle, "with the fast boys."  He then went into trying to be a "radio announcer" and started calling plays like he was watching a hockey game (and participating).  As he skated away from me, I had a mix of fear and pride.  I was afraid and wanted to catch him when he fell, but was so proud he was doing it on his own and not giving into fear.  Each time I tried to move closer, to catch him, I told myself, "this is what growing up is- you give him space to learn and as long as he's not going to kill himself, you watch".  This was the self-talk I had to keep giving myself- it's so hard to watch a kid when you know they might fall, but they will never grow if you don't give them a little independence and space to learn on their own.  A hard parenting lesson.  At one point I almost cried, I was so in awe of his fearlessness and bravery.  People commented who had been watching us skate for a while how he looked like he was doing so much better.  I told him I was happy that for once I was enjoying a sport with him that I was actually BETTER than his Daddy at.  He laughed at that.  I told him, "Your Daddy can have playing baseball with you and I will take ice skating and hockey any day."

Fearlessness, getting up after you fall and how to be a parent who gives their kid space to learn; these were just some of those things I learned while ice skating, and bonding with my 3 year old.  Priceless.

Saving Money For Christmas... We've saved over $850 this year!

It's that time of year, and this is a popular subject for blog posts, but I'll go ahead and share some of my tips.  My husband and I figured out we have probably in total saved around $600 this year for our Christmas gifts and I've used some of it for birthday gifts and my son's birthday party.

1.  Credit Card with Rewards.  We have the type of credit card that gives money back.  Every month I take that cash back and put it in a money market account, which earns some interest.  When months are tight, I will use the cash back to help pay the bill, but whenever I'm able I stash that money away to use later on.  We probably save around $200-300 this way.
2.  Swagbucks- I know I've mentioned this before, but it's pretty cool between surveys and watching videos (which my husband makes fun of me for, but if I kind of watch a video while I"m brushing my teeth or doing whatever and it equates to about $350 a year in gift cards, why not?).  I don't do surveys that ask for too much personal information- it's not worth it to me, but it's sometimes rewarding to offer advice on products and services and think it might actually help with their market research to impact baby food and diapers for the better!
3.  Ibotta and Checkout 51-  My husband is kind of the "couponer" of the household.  We basically use these programs to get rebates on groceries we get anyways.  As far as privacy rights, I feel you relinquish about the same amount of privacy with giving this information as you do when you have a loyalty card at any grocery store.  You're basically providing companies with information on your spending habits.  You don't have to do every receipt, so you can just do it as you like.  We also try to stay away from purchasing things just BECAUSE you can get an amazing rebate.  Just like a sale on a Pallet-full of food doesn't save you any money if you don't use it.  We've saved about $150 this year this way
4. Receipt Hog-  This is kind of the same as above, but you can use it at places other than grocery stores, and especially at gas stations.  Great way to earn money just from buying gas.  I've saved about $20 in the past couple months I've used this.
5. Dicks Move App and Walgreens.  You can actually hook up your FitBit to these Apps.  When I looked into it, I wasn't interested in giving them the ability to track my movement (that's a little too Big Brother for me).  But they use these programs to keep you motivated to exercise (I'm sure they figure the more you work out, the more you will need running shoes and energy drinks and then you're more likely to shop with them).  I've saved about $20 at Walgreens and $10 at Dicks in the past couple of months.
6. Homemade gifts- this is an obvious one- whether it's giving cookies, homemade vanilla or knit goods, I find that many people appreciate the homemade goodies even more than gift cards or store-bought gifts.  One of my son's teachers actually gave me her shoe size the other day hoping that maybe I'd make her some socks 😉
7. Planning ahead for sales- This one can get a little trickier- you kind of need to work on your list for people all year through and then plan on what you're going to get them and how low a price you want something to go.  It can definitely save money though instead of waiting for December and full price.
8. Keeping a stash- I try to keep my eyes open for deals- especially on Children's books (amazon will have sales from time to time) and keep a stash available in the closet so if a birthday party or something comes up, we already have a gift that we purchased on sale.  We still want to try to personalize gifts for kids, but it's fun if I find a book my son likes to be able to share it with others.

Perspective

A while ago I had a very busy day and wanted to start it out right.

I went to one of my favorite salad places and got an amazing "Spanish salad" with blackened chicken, manchego cheese and a bunch of other great stuff.  I intentionally did not eat it all, realizing that around 3 pm, I would want continued nourishment and it would be a great pick me up.  As I was eating it, a panhandler came around asking for money.  He wanted to buy something specific from a restaurant, or so he told me.  I tried to guard my heart from cynicism and gave him a little change and he moved on.  I packed up my salad and got ready to leave for work.

I started doing internal math in my head, figuring out the bills my husband and I had to pay, and how we would be able to pay for Christmas and all that internal math/budgeting that people worry about unless they are independently wealthy.  As I was in the middle of this haze walking, a middle aged woman came over to me politely.  She was wearing nice clothes, had a suitcase and looked like she could have been my own mom, traveling.  She politely asked, "Miss, may I please have that salad if you don't need it?"  I came out of my "worry zone" and immediately gave it to her.  It was kind of a reflex.  Her politeness and clear need of food kind of shocked me.  She was definitely not a typical panhandler, anyone who would ask for the half-eaten lunch of someone else, not money or any other pleas, was actually a person in need.  I wish I would have talked or befriended her more, but I did have to rush to get to work.  She did me a great service though.  She turned my heart from one of worry to one of gratefulness and before I gathered my thoughts, she took off with, "God Bless you today."  Her need was a blessing to me.  I hope to have more opportunities to return her blessing to others.

Dealing with emotions

I have tried not to do it, but I will go ahead.  Comment on the aftermath of this volatile election.  I'm sure a lot of voters on both sides felt like they needed to shower after they voted.  I personally pinched my nose.  It's been a hard election on our country, all of country.  Families and communities divided, covert supporters, "spys".   I have friends on "both sides" and on both extremes.  It's almost like the Civil War....


Except it's not.  I have intentionally avoided Facebook.  The raw emotions, the anger, the vitriol.  The feelings of despair.  Yeah, I don't have to willingly engage in that.

Let's look at my son.  He's learning about emotions.  His newest saying is, "Don't talk to me."  I'm sure there are many of us who feel that about the election and politics.  I try to tell him, "It's my right to talk to you and it's your right to walk away or say I have a headache, but you can't tell someone else what to do and it is their right to have a voice."  I'm not sure how much of that gets through a 3 year old's brain, but I have to remind myself of this when dealing with the population with different opinions.  We all have a right to talk.  We have a right to be mad, sad, despairing, you name it.  The other side also has a right to rejoice (but maybe not with too much bragging).  It's been a difficult election, everyone has a right to blow off steam, but not at the expense of others, not with rioting.

Just as I tell my son his emotions are valid when he says, "I'm mad that you are making me leave the park" because it is a  legitimate feeling, it is valid for the population and media to share their emotions.  I do feel like our nation is at a difficult, almost schizophrenic time.  It reminds me a lot of times when I'm at work and I grieve with a family when they say goodbye to their four-legged family member of over 20 years and then I close the door and have to rejoice in seeing a cute new puppy just starting vaccines.  It's an emotional ping pong and it's just not healthy.  A couple of days of mourning for the mourners and a couple of days of rejoicing for the happy people and then lets please try to reach an emotionally equilibrium and heal.

The grace shown by our leaders should be a model for how we should behave.  We may differ, we may have wounds from the past, but we need to move forward.  We can choose hope or despair.  I choose hope (and to stay off of Facebook for a while).

Maybe I need to be careful about Charlile Brown

Currently, my son loves Charlie Brown and the Peanuts characters.  He has loved them for a while.  One of the first decorations in his nursery was personalized to him- a Snoopy flag.  He wasn't able to talk at this time, but whenever we went on walks he would point and get excited about the Snoopy flag we would see on his walks and so he has it hanging on his wall.

My son watches the Charlie Brown specials on the DVR and DVD player as often as we would let him and talks about Snoopy and Charlie Brown and the characters often- it was the first movie he saw in the movie theater.  Anyways, he loves these characters.

I found a Charlie Brown book the last time we were at the library- Peanuts- The Beagle Has Landed.  He didn't initially get excited about it, but every night for the past 5 or so nights I've been reading it to him.  It really is rather funny, even for the grown-ups.  He picks up on the lines and asks us to explain them.  His little brain is working at 40 mph.  I try not to use the word "stupid" which is used disproportionately in the book and we try to talk through what happens.

Yesterday, we were over at a family friend's house and they have a little boy, a little older than ours and he was being kind of bossy.  Let's just say he was the male version of Lucy.  My son brought his baseball mitt over to the house because he LOVES to play baseball (and is quite good at it- his teachers at daycare have commented they wouldn't be surprised to see him in the Big Leagues someday).  The boys were playing together and my son tolerated him not being able to say his name (he called him another name).  My son also tolerated several rounds of the "big boy" trying to "teach" him how to correctly throw and catch a ball (trust me, my son is better than I am).  At some point though, there was a breaking point and my son took the ball and hit him square on the forehead with it.  I was kind of shocked.  I made sure the other boy was ok and had my son apologize to him.  I also apologized to the mother and informed her what had happened.  She was not worried at all, her response, "he probably deserved it."

Later that evening, on the trip home, we discussed the situation with our son.  He had found the other little boy to be "annoying" and so that was his response.  We informed him next time to just tell the boy to stop being annoying or to tell his mommy or daddy, but not to throw a ball at a kid'
s head just because he bugs you.  That night, as I read Charlie Brown, I realized that Snoopy in one scene hits golf balls at Lucy.  Hmm.  Children are sponges...

Guest post by Mike

My husband has been begging for me to share this story- which I think is best done by him-

Recently, when we were playing football "hike" on our bed after work/daycare, I "tackled" our son on the bed and tried to convince him that we weren't just playing "tackle", but we were playing "tackle and tickle".  He quickly responded, "No, Daddy, we're not playing tackle and tickle.  I've been watching football on tv and football players don't tickle each other at all!"

As you can see, my hubby is a lot more concise than I am- but thought I'd get him to share it on his own and stick his pinky toe in the pool of blogging.

An assignment for my readers....

This weekend we did my family's annual tradition of going to the orchard to pick out a pumpkin (and more importantly take great Fall pictures).  This was the same orchard my husband and I once went to for our engagement photos.

My son had a great time and it's really great to see how much he changes from year to year and the different activities he "grows" into.  This year he had a great time playing hide and seek in the hay bales.  Not as much of a fan this year as he was last year with the slides and very interested in "shifting" on the combine and tractors they had out for the kids to play with.  We had a great time and it was a reminder of how time flies.

Had a great time celebrating Halloween, but do you know what the even more important holidays are this week?


All Saints Day and All Souls Day!  All Saints Day is a Holy Day of Obligation (so if you are Catholic, try to remember to make it to Mass).  If you're not Catholic, this is still a great time to remember all those who have passed before us.  All Saints Day is a celebration for those canonized by the Catholic Church and also those who are Saints, but not publicly recognized (Anyone who makes it to heaven is a Saint).  The Church's teaching is that you don't necessarily know if someone makes it to Heaven right away (even St. Teresa of Calcutta had to go through a process to get officially recognized), so it's not a bad idea to pray for all of your loved ones, even if you think they were pretty Holy.  Church teaching is if you pray for the souls of people who have made it to heaven, your prayers are not wasted, they will be utilized for another soul in need of prayers.

On the other hand, this is a great time to ask all those saints in heaven to pray for us.  In this time of national anxiety, I think that might be a pretty great idea.  Our Lady of The America's, Pray for us!