A Holy Monsignor

Yesterday, my son and I attended a funeral of a holy man.  He was the retired Monsignor at our parish.  In his 90th year of life, I had seen him shopping at the grocery store just months ago.  He was going strong until the end.  At the funeral, there was a cardinal and four bishops and more priests than my son could even count.  Apparently when planning his funeral, he had joked with his priest friends, "I'm 90 years old- who's going to come to my funeral?  Everyone I know is dead."

Let's just say that the school was closed and parking was at a premium.  The elderly, dignified man had touched so many people there wasn't even room to stand within the church.  Someone had written a book about their life, and Monsignor was actually featured in a chapter.  Part of this was read at his funeral, "the dignified Italian man who was an old-school Catholic and his skinny assistant."  This passage took place in 1972.  Monsignor was still dignified and his skinny assistant was now a bishop.

Even toward the final months of his life, he tried to remember every kid's name who attended the school.  Apparently, even in his final days he schooled a non-Catholic doctor that, "No- those are not worry beads, that is a rosary and this is how you say it..."

Below is what I wrote about him over a year ago....

Monsignor is an 89 year old priest who regularly does daily Mass and is frequent on the weekends too.  As far as I can tell, he does a close to equal amount of pastoral work as the other priests and especially for his age.  He's "retired," but I don't think he knows what that word means.  He was inspired by and an acquaintance of Father Aloysius Schwartz, who is on his way to canonization.  It's not too often you know of someone who knew a potential Saint.  He's also a wonderful priest.  I love going to children's Masses where he presides.  I still remember one where he quizzed the children, "Who is the Bishop? Who is the Pope?  Who was the Pope before that?  All the elementary schoolers eagerly raise their hands and try to get his attention.  Happy with how many elementary schoolers knew the answer, he asked a tough one, "Who was the Pope when I was your age?"  Without losing a beat, one of the elementary schoolers said, "Peter".  Monsignor said "Peter?", and the student said, "The First Pope."  Monsignor laughed as the whole congregation got a little smile that morning.

I had told my husband a little while back that I didn't want to go to Confession with Monsignor, as unfortunately, his hearing is not very good.  I informed my husband, "Even though I'm a repentant sinner, I don't need the whole church to hear my confession."  A couple days later, we found out that Monsignor had a stroke during Mass.  He was rushed to the hospital.  As we talked with others in the Parish, we assumed he would be out of commission for a while to recover.  Even at a younger age, it takes a lot of time to recover.  I also thought, "if that was me, I think I might just say, I'll take a little recover time, read some books and take it easy for a while."  Were we surprised to see him, that next Sunday, just a week later, celebrating Sunday morning Mass.  Wow!  At 89, to recover and just have the willpower to get back to work, we were both amazed.  We are very happy he can share his gifts with us still.  He showed us a true love of God and his vocation.

Rest In Peace,

Monsignor

Breakfast Baseball and Pumpkin Patch

I found out I had been unknowingly volunteered for my son's "Fall Festival"on a day I was scheduled to work.  I was fortunately able to schedule my day today so that I could go in late to work.  I'm not sure that my employer was thrilled but this was one of those incidences of setting your priorities straight.

I offered my son a special treat because he didn't have to go to before care this morning.  I offered that we could go out to breakfast.  What was his choice?  Taking a pumpkin pop tart to the local baseball field and hitting a few balls.  It was cold and not what I'd ever want to do at 8:30 in the morning but I felt privileged to help him make this memory.

Mommy, I love your Body..

"Mommy, I love your Body."  Yep, that's what my son said.  And after a pause, where I reminded myself that my four year old is not a Freudian, I added, "I love it too!"

In an era of body image problems and never being "perfect enough," I thought it was pretty good that my son just had a straightforward look at things.  "Do you love any particular part," I asked.  "Nope- I just love you all.  Your body is good."  I was wondering if this was somehow a lesson at school that came up or where this all was coming from.  Then I remembered how he says I'm the best snuggler and cuddler.  Last week I was at a meeting late and almost missed his bedtime.  My husband suggested that he could cuddle with my son and my son said, "Daddy- that would give me a sad face."

I'm happy that my son is having an appreciation of the gift of the body.  The gift of snuggles, cuddles and tickles is a wonderful gift I was given by my family and am happy to pass on to my son.  In a world where I worry about what body images and inappropriate things my son will potentially encounter, it's a good start if he knows our bodies are good and gifts of God.  I've tried to slowly instill this in him and I've taught him the words, "Respect my parts."  Sometimes he says it just to be a stinker and get out of much deserved tickles, but I respect him none the less.  If he can learn the simple lesson of respecting his parts and respecting other peoples parts, I have to imagine he's off to a halfway decent start.

Going Home

I went "home" to my alma mater for my ten year vet school reunion.  Somethings change and some things never will.  As we travelled through the school and clinic, the memories came back.  Some traumatic, but most of this have been blocked.  Mostly memories of hard work and remembering feeling that our time in school would never end.  Here I am, ten years out, I don't know how much wiser, with a lot of experiences since then and a lot of loss of the academic memory.

They talked about changing the curriculum to have future veterinarians "full wellness" in mind.  Not 8 straight hours of class with only bathroom breaks.  Good for the future students!

Our tour guide was actually a professor who started teaching in the 60's.  Needless to say, he's old.  I confessed to a classmate that I periodically have scanned the obit pages for his name.  That professor has not a changed a bit since 2007.

I'm hopeful for the future of my alma mater.  Sometimes going home can remind you of all the new frontiers.

My favorite case today...

Today was a day when everything seemed to go wrong and I got behind because nothing was simple. I think we all have those days where we just wish we could crawl back in bed and just wake up the next day.  I just kind of plugged through knowing that it would end and I would get to see my cute snuggly kid again soon.

I walked into a room assuming that hairlessness in a cat was yet another case of fleas.  This time of year I feel like I see cases of fleas at least three times a day.  It gets old.  What I first noticed was the cat was sitting on its owner's lap watching video on an I-phone.  Much akin to what happens when I take my son to doctors appointments, the owner was "amusing" her cat during the waiting time.  I was informed (and could kind of hear from the audio) that the cat was watching his favorite person- I'm not sure if she was a "niece" or a "cousin" doing cheerleading.  Yes- this cat was calmed by watching cheerleaders.  Ok- to each their own...

I then went on to examine the cat and speak with the owner.  Apparently, said "cheerleader" was the favorite person in the cat's life and he didn't really have use for others.  He was an old kitty and he knew who he liked.  As the story went on, I realized this cat most likely didn't have a case of fleas, or just arthritis- he had a lonesome heart.  The cheerleader spent long days in the summer with the cat, and now, with school started and cheerleading in full force, she tried to see him, but it was often only for 5-15 minutes.  He would calm down when he got to see her cheering on video and he liked to sleep in a blanket that smelled like her.  The owner informed me when I suggested she keep more items around the house that smelled of his favorite person that she made the mistake of washing the item and he grimaced and gave her the evil eye the rest of the evening and refused to come near her- he knew she had washed the smell out.

Now, apparently his anxiety of missing his loved one was causing him to tear his hair out (in absence of another diagnosis).  We talked about ways to reduce his anxiety and reduce the pain of arthritis if that was also involved.  We also talked about an anti-depresseant.  Clearly we can't make his loved one stay home from her life to be with him, but there's something crazy about a cat with such a strong love.  As the owner was perplexed by the cat, I think I made her feel better when I said some cats (such as my own) have separation anxiety that is expressed as inappropriate elimination, her kitty is more polite that he harms himself rather than her property.  She seemed consoled by this.

The love of this cat kind of reminded me of one of my favorite stories as a child, Shel Silverstein's "The Giving Tree".  I think as a child I was more mesmerized by the tree for all the gifts it gave and now as a parent I identify more with the tree.  I think my patient also identified with the Giving Tree. For anyone who thinks cats are aloof and don't have feelings- this case is one that shows they have feelings, they might just express them differently.

Flu vaccine

I'm not sure if the following statement is going to be proof I'm a good vet- or a bad mom.  The only individual in my family that has received the flu vaccine so far this year is my dog, Dewey.  I'll go with- "I'm a good vet"

That information can be explained by the following:

1)  It's exceptionally easier to get a 60 pound goofy, happy dog in the car to go for a "trip" than to try to convince a 4 year old that a needle is a good thing.

2) It's also easier to remember to take the dog into work with you to get the flu vaccine when you hear his nails on the floor and realize he's due for a nail trim.

3) I planned on getting my son his vaccine at a pediatric specialist's office because I figure they are better at giving the vaccine (yes, with personal experience I can tell you some people are good at giving "shots" and some people are NOT).  Unfortunately he has developed a respiratory illness.  My immunology class may have been 14 years ago, but if a respiratory illness would keep my dog from getting a vaccine, I know my kid with a cold shouldn't get one- even if the local pharmacist doesn't care.

4) My husband hates shots- he says he's going to get it tomorrow.  Maybe I should make a bet with him as to which one of us goes first to get it.

5) My excuse- I was planning on going weight-lifting and I didn't want to be painful prior to the weightlifting.  Yes- this is a real excuse.

6) Flu in people is bad, but so is flu in animals.  There are actually two strains that they can be vaccinated for, so my poor dog is going to get his other one boostered in February.  They need to be boostered once a year once they do the initial series of two (at least us humans only get one once a year).  Dogs can die from flu, even healthy dogs and dogs that are social and travel are more likely to get it.  My dog fits both of those bills.  We also live in an area where dogs travel from all over the country and the world, so we are ripe for an outbreak.  Currently, it's the southeast and midwest that has had some outbreaks, but it can happen at any point.

Well, hopefully writing this blog
post will assure that I remember to follow up and make sure everyone gets taken care of.  Also- hopefully this is a reminder that if you are part of the at-risk population you should get your flu vaccine too!

Made it Back!

We made it back from a long road trip and a veterinary conference for me.

I convinced my husband to stop at a restaurant in the middle of nowhere instead of the regular fast food fare that I was sick of.  He lamented how it was going to take longer and make us late.  I told him "if it makes us run behind I'll...." I stopped myself as I noticed that there was a table of 6 cops (probably all of the police officers in the area) and maybe it wasn't so wise to say, "put the pedal to the metal".  I'm certainly not a flagrant speeder and my last speeding ticket was over a decade ago (Alas- my last parking ticket was last week, but I won't focus on that one).

We had a good meal and we made it back in time to pick up the dog AND the cat and so our family is all back home and tired.  This explains why I didn't post earlier...

A bit of exciting news- a while ago I was accepted as a contributing writer for Catholicmom.com

My first post will go "Live" sometime Thursday afternoon.  Please check it out and the other great content on the website.  I also love their "Daily Gospel" feature which helps bring perspective on each day's daily gospel reading.  I will be doing a couple of these come Spring!  Just thought I'd share the great news and if you haven't heard of the website, check it out!  My blogpost Thursday will be new content.

A Beautiful Drive and Fall Changes

We got to take a beautiful drive through some gorgeous mountains today.  Sometimes I forget that Fall can be my favorite season.  I was lamenting last weekend that the weather had taken a change and that I forgot to bring a jacket for my son to the park.

This week, it's been a struggle to get him to wear a jacket or long pants.  He still thinks shorts and a T-shirt should carry him through the day.  If not for his cold, I wouldn't be opposed to "experiential learning" but the kid is so stubborn I'm not sure what it would take for him to admit that it was a good idea.

I'm reminded of when I went to high school wearing Birkenstocks in winter.  Apple doesn't fall far from the tree.  I guess in this way my son takes after me and not his Floridian father.  I used to roll around in snow in my bathing suit in my younger days.  Perhaps I should be grateful I live in a warmer climate.

I found myself buying Christmas Cards this week (who can't beat 75% off and free shipping?).  It was alarming to me how fast time flies and my son is talking about, "Halloween, Thanksgiving and then Christmas".  He wants them to come one day after the other.  How age changes perspective...  I want to slowly savor the Fall like a good pumpkin spice latte.  Cliche, I know, but this time of year wants me to savor, to slow down, to appreciate the changes and hold onto the present.

The beauty of those mountains remind me of this timeless world, this place where everyone and everything seems to move faster and faster, but God's gift of beauty, though it changes with the seasons is solid as a rock.  There are so many things in this world that can lead us to anxiety and fear, but for me, looking at those mountains and taking a deep breath holds me in one thing that's timeless, God's love for us.

Thank you Lord for my strong-willed child

Thank you Lord, for my strong-willed child.

Sometimes he challenges me beyond belief.  Sometimes I think the Lord may have not blessed us with more kids because sometimes this one takes all the patience and energy I have.

Sometimes I feel like getting him into clothes in the morning is a courtroom battle.  Or pretty much getting him to do anything.... Sometimes going to work is the "easy" part of my day.

Sometimes I'm required to use my knowledge of feline behavior  as in, "get them to think it was their idea" as a parenting tool.

Sometimes I try to leave 45 minutes early and end up 15 minutes late because of some debate that at the end of it neither one of us could tell you what it was really about.
Thank you Lord, for the challenges he brings, it makes the rewards of his temperament all the sweeter.

As I heard one blogger say, "remember, if you can't get your kid to do anything,  neither will anyone else".  Strong willed children are "less likely to give into peer pressure," be led anywhere or with anyone and "are more likely to be confident".

This weekend at the end of what was a week in what can sometimes be called "the parenting wars", I watched my son sit down with a man who was in his fifties, in a home for the elderly infirm and engage with him- talk baseball with him over a meal.

He excitedly came over to me and was so happy to share with me "my new friend, he's a little boy who has my same name and likes baseball".  Looking around the elderly population we were serving, I was confused.  I was running around being a busy Martha and here my 4 year old was showing me Mary.

My son who is often very shy was bonding with a Brother in Jesus more naturally than most of us adults could pull off.  I didn't ask him, or tell him to sit down and converse with a stranger.  He did it because that's who he is, my strong willed child.  

That man probably hadn't spoken about baseball with a 4-year old in a very long time, if ever.  He was surrounded by a bunch of people who weren't even familiar with baseball and my son just buddies up to him and gave him such joy.

Thank you Lord, for my strong willed child.  Sometimes I need a reminder that micromanaging and correcting is often not the way with him- modeling, guiding, and letting the Lord take over is just easier for everyone- and a huge blessing.

Thank you for the BLESSING of my strong-willed child.