#Adulting

Sometimes I forget that my son has no concept of adulthood.  This is a good thing.  Many children all around the world and even in our own country have all too much of an idea of adulthood and the trials of being adults and losing their childhood.

My son is precocious, and so sometimes it's easy to forget he really doesn't "get" that the world is not made for kids.  He already made the comment that I think most kids make at some point, "There's a Mother's Day and a Father's Day, why isn't there a kid's day?"  Especially because of the fact he's an only child, it's hard to help him distinguish the fact the world does not revolve around him.  It doesn't help either that he's really cute and easily becomes the center of attention wherever we go.  We go and volunteer at a convent/house where there are a bunch of Sisters who treat him like he's a rock star.  He knows where they keep the toys, they normally try to sneak him cookies and goodies, it's almost like going to a house full of grandparents.  That doesn't even account for the 4 natural grandparents he has who are also doting and can't help but make him feel like he's a king.

We try to balance things out and I try to teach him that the needs of others do sometimes come before ours.  I think he's slowly picking up on it, but the other day kind of made me laugh.

Unfortunately we have a car that seems like it's accident prone.  It's a good car, but it seems to be a dent and disaster magnet (That's why I like to drive it, as I tell my husband, "It's not a virgin anymore so it doesn't make me nervous that I'm going to be the one to wreck it")   Fortunately everyone has survived all events unscathed, but it has made two trips to the collision center when it's not even two years old.

My husband was sitting in traffic (on one of the few occasions I "let" him drive the car) when a presumed mentally ill man was shouting expletives and roaming through the street.  The green light didn't come quick enough and the man bashed in the side view mirror.  You know, the fancy one that also has blind spot detectors.  Fortunately, my husband was fine.  The man obviously needed help, but it wasn't a great area and my husband presumed the police wouldn't be able to do anything for the man other than what had already probably been attempted.  How do you explain this incident to a five year old?

"I'm sorry, we need to go to the collision center and wait around for a part to get fixed on the car.  No, the man wasn't bad.  No, it wasn't exactly an accident.  The man was sick and needed help controlling his anger.  You know when you can't control your anger and you accidentally break things?  Yep, that's what sometimes happens.  You break things, it's not exactly an accident, but we try to be understanding.  Yes, it's inconvenient" was along the lines of the conversation we had.

As we were waiting, because collision centers don't do anything without a wait, my son looks around and says, "Why don't they have a playroom?  I explain to him, as I'm looking around at people with their police reports, getting rental cars and in situations much worse than ours, "because collision centers are part of being an adult, not being a kid."  He didn't exactly understand but then was happy when I discovered the coffee machine also made hot chocolate.  We made three trips to the collision center and had a 4.5 hour oil change for our other car that week due to a series of events and promising a part when it was not there...

 I'm pretty sure after all the hot chocolate my son has had he is developing an affinity for the collision center.  I'm fine if for the next 20 years or more my son can associate collision centers with hot chocolate and nothing else. #Adulting- may it belong to me and not my kid for as long as possible.

Sorry I've been away for a bit...

Between a swollen throat (I think attributable to allergies), working out of the area and then a brief anniversary trip with my hubby, I've been away for a bit.  It seems like every time I try to catch up on stuff, another roadblock gets in my way.  The following may be a little gross for sensitive tummies.

I've been doing some work for a vet that's really sick and it's a reminder to me to be appreciative of all the little struggles in life.  Whether it's sitting for five hours in traffic and finding out my son get's carsick or something else (Here's a glimpse of that conversation; "Mommy, can you get home any faster?"  Me- "I wish we could- no sweetie, we are stuck in traffic."  "Mommy, I'm siiiiiick!"  "What feels sick?" I ask (he can sometimes over-dramatize illness).  "Mommy my tummy's sick."  "Are you carsick?"  "No, I'm HOMESICK, I want to be home already!"

Yep, the prospect of being stuck in a hot car with vomit all over the place kind of took some compassion out of my voice.  "Ok, are you going to vomit?"  "yes, I think so, Mommy".  "Ok, would you like this bag, or this box to vomit into?"  "Nope".  "Ok, what's your plan?  Because if you are planning on just vomiting everywhere in the car, that's not going to fly."

 Sorry, I wasn't the most compassionate Mommy at this point, I struggle to understand why I can't get my kid to vomit into receptacles.  I can get dogs and cats to do it, but not my kid.  "If you aren't going to vomit into some type of receptacle, then you need to swallow it, because it's just not cool to do it over everything."  I wasn't serious on this, I was just hoping he would see the wisdom of not making a mess.

I was apparently not persuasive and heard a small noise.  I'm pretty sure it was a burp.  I'm pretty sure my son doesn't know what a burp feels like and he got body functions confused.  I wasn't going to intellectualize it.  I was grateful that after that, we made it home.  I'll be grateful for making it unscathed through horrible traffic.

Gratitude- I thank traveling for that.

A while back I overheard someone talking about travel.  They were putting down a country as being "Third World" and nothing but a pit.  I have been blessed to travel to many parts of the world.  I thank my parents for the blessing of travel they gave us growing up, and more importantly, the seed and curiosity to travel.  I've  been blessed to see many beautiful parts of our planet and I hope to travel to many more.  From the hills and cliffs of Ireland, to the ancient villages, beaches, castles and churches of mainland Europe.  We have family friends in Belgium and France, but frankly, those travels were not as deep and rich as the ones I developed in some countries people would not put first on their destination of choice list.

Every nation has it's own natural beauty.  Some wild, some with deep history.  Each country has its own scars, either from colonialism, communism, civil wars or other parts of its history.  There are parts of countries that are not safe to go to, there are panhandlers, gypsies and groups of people in almost every country that people would like to pretend aren't present.

I have found that I can get by with strange food, strange customs and even strange toilet facilities (I never knew how much I appreciated having a toilet bowl or toilet paper until I spent time in some countries without them) or how much I appreciate having a hot or cold shower when I've travelled to at least 4 different countries where these things were not a guarantee (including Ireland, what is considered a western country).

I've eaten stale bread because that is all the host has had to give.  I've tolerated some strong language, because apparently one of the local dialects involves having a swear word every other sentence.  I've had an old man tell me, "women can't be vets," then quickly back track.  I've walked the beaches where soldiers died fighting for our freedom and seen ancient Roman ruins.  I'm grateful for all my travel and experiences.  Some have been difficult, some ( a lot) have been downright comical.

I've come to appreciate the "western" conveniences and lifestyle that I'm blessed to live with.  Going to some areas of the world can give you a glimpse into how people lived over a hundred years ago, it can be a reminder of all the luxury we have today and a reminder that we don't "Need" the things we think we do.

What I've found most enlightening though are the lessons I've learned from people in these places and locations where some don't dare to tread.  The humanity, the acts of kindness, charity and generosity. I still remember when I was in Mexico and I bought some candy to give to children we met a long the way.  We were at a rural farm and I gave a little boy riding a tricycle a bag of candy.  I then noticed that there were other children further away.  My heart sunk, as I realized that I didn't have any more candy for the rest of the children.  I then noticed that the boy had immediately taken his tricycle over to the other kids.  No parent or adult told him to do this.  He just knew he got something good and he was sharing.  In a land where they don't have excess, sharing was automatic to him; how many 5 year olds in this country do the same?

On the streets of India, giving our leftover food to the poor on the streets and watching an old woman come by every Sunday and giving soup to the poor was also a chance to witness charity as well as seeing the charity of the Missionaries of Charity, St. Mother Teresa's sisters.  St. Mother Teresa herself said, "The most terrible poverty is loneliness and the feeling of being unloved."  This poverty affects the western world as much, if not more than India.  How many times are people around, but not truly present?

I remember traveling in Europe and how it seemed to get to the point that my teenage voice said, "Not another church, not another castle".  We were on a whirlwind trip and tried to get as much out of it as we could.  I love history, but I've found that I get more out of traveling where I can see great natural beauty.  I also find the beauty of people adapting and being joyful in situations and environments that would be difficult to most Americans as a more important way for me to grow than simply staying in fancy hotels and having the best service (although that's nice too sometimes).

I hope that I will be able to give my son some travel experiences that make his horizons grow and also his appreciation and gratitude grow.  Gratitude for those blessings we have and most importantly for realizing the best blessings are the simple ones; each other.