I remember when 20 years ago, I first heard of going on a silent retreat. I thought that would be impossible for me. I'm not sure if I was an extrovert who became an introvert, or always been some type of combination but back in my young adulthood I thought it would be impossible for me to be silent. Now I long for it.
If you've ever considered a silent retreat, or been scared to do one. I have a word of advice, DO IT!
I did my first silent retreat about 8 years ago. It was difficult, but surprisingly refreshing. I've done a few more since then. In this time of XM radio, DVRs on our TV's, podcasts, easy access to phones and Facebook and messaging, it's important for us to slow down, and attempt silence.
Now, while my lips may not have spoken during the silent retreat, my brain certainly did. I think it took about 30 hours on the retreat before my brain stopped the constant dialogue in my head. There are often talks, music and other noises you hear on retreat- it's not like you are locked in a dark room with silence. Doing retreats in natural settings can also be great, my retreat was in an urban setting with some natural spaces.
I am a person who both as a mom and as a professional, typically needs to multi-task. My brain has to be processing multiple responsibilities, questions and problems at the same time. Much like other moms, I'm sure. Just like we are often the last to go to the dentist, or to the doctor, we are often the last to take care of ourselves. Whether time and money allow you to take a silent retreat at a place separate from your home, or it's a matter of leaving your kids in front of the TV so you can have a few minutes of silence, remember and try to put silent moments in your lives. Even if it's driving in the car to pick up the kids, turn off the radio occasionally to retreat to silence. I've found that silence is not really silence, but an invitation to listen and invitation to give gratitude to our Creator.
Have you considered or done a silent retreat? What do you think?
Wednesday, September 25, 2019
Tuesday, September 10, 2019
Explaining 9/11
My family has taken a couple of trips to New England. We normally try to avoid driving through New York City. Neither my husband nor I feel very comfortable driving in the city. I'm a midwestern girl. Give me a 2 lane highway with the windows down and I'm happy. Stop and go traffic in the Bronx, well, that's a little stressful, especially for any trip that's more than 5 hours long.
A while back, just my son and I went to visit a friend and a cousin in New England. I drove an hour out of the way to miss driving through the city. My son was devastated. I didn't realize he had such a fascination with New York City. Whenever he sees it on the news, or hears about it in a book, he points it out. He definitely wants to visit some day.
All this talk about New York City seemed pretty innocent. We talked about the museums and Central Park and all the things to see and do. He wanted to see pictures. So I showed him pictures of the skyline and he asked us about the tall buildings that my husband and I had been in. We should have seen it coming; but we didn't.
I'm not exactly sure how the World Trade Center towers came up. I'm not sure if it was him looking at pictures and seeing an empty spot in the skyline, or if we were talking with each other and innocently mentioned them as places we had visited.
How do you explain 9/11 to a 5 year old. I feel kind of blessed that I'm having this conversation 18 years after it happened. It makes me really understanding of the difficulties parents had when it was fresh.
Both my husband and I knew several people in different locations that were affected by the terror that day. We had even once taken our son to the Memorial in Shanksville. He was younger then. We just kind of explained the Memo
rial there as a place where good people died fighting evil and were heroic in saving other people from peril. At that time, he didn't ask more questions.
But to explain how there were two giant buildings and they aren't there anymore, that's tough. It's just so real, so obvious. It's not a philosophical discussion.
We explained to our son how some people made evil decisions. They somehow thought that God had told them to hurt other people. We reminded our son that God will NEVER tell you to hurt other people. We told him that many people went home to Jesus on that day. My husband and I nervously glanced back and forth, hoping we didn't need to fill in anymore blanks. We briefly discussed how religion and belief in God is a good thing and that we always need to be aware of good and evil.
Our son processed this information. He then told us, "some girls in my class said that those who don't believe in God go to Hell. I think that maybe they go to Purgatory." This kind of took us aback. I didn't even know that my son knew what Purgatory was. I was proud that my son did seem to have an awareness of a merciful and loving God.
Getting closer to the anniversary of 9/11, I've had the opportunity to learn more about the hero dogs that helped search and rescue people and continue to prevent bad things from happening now. I don't know that we fully answered his questions, I don't know that all of my theological questions have been answered. Hopefully, as distance and healing occur, we can all explain what happened so no one ever forgets, but also have the grace to remember, there is evil.
A while back, just my son and I went to visit a friend and a cousin in New England. I drove an hour out of the way to miss driving through the city. My son was devastated. I didn't realize he had such a fascination with New York City. Whenever he sees it on the news, or hears about it in a book, he points it out. He definitely wants to visit some day.
All this talk about New York City seemed pretty innocent. We talked about the museums and Central Park and all the things to see and do. He wanted to see pictures. So I showed him pictures of the skyline and he asked us about the tall buildings that my husband and I had been in. We should have seen it coming; but we didn't.
I'm not exactly sure how the World Trade Center towers came up. I'm not sure if it was him looking at pictures and seeing an empty spot in the skyline, or if we were talking with each other and innocently mentioned them as places we had visited.
How do you explain 9/11 to a 5 year old. I feel kind of blessed that I'm having this conversation 18 years after it happened. It makes me really understanding of the difficulties parents had when it was fresh.
Both my husband and I knew several people in different locations that were affected by the terror that day. We had even once taken our son to the Memorial in Shanksville. He was younger then. We just kind of explained the Memo
 |
| Courtesy of Pixabay |
But to explain how there were two giant buildings and they aren't there anymore, that's tough. It's just so real, so obvious. It's not a philosophical discussion.
We explained to our son how some people made evil decisions. They somehow thought that God had told them to hurt other people. We reminded our son that God will NEVER tell you to hurt other people. We told him that many people went home to Jesus on that day. My husband and I nervously glanced back and forth, hoping we didn't need to fill in anymore blanks. We briefly discussed how religion and belief in God is a good thing and that we always need to be aware of good and evil.
Our son processed this information. He then told us, "some girls in my class said that those who don't believe in God go to Hell. I think that maybe they go to Purgatory." This kind of took us aback. I didn't even know that my son knew what Purgatory was. I was proud that my son did seem to have an awareness of a merciful and loving God.
Getting closer to the anniversary of 9/11, I've had the opportunity to learn more about the hero dogs that helped search and rescue people and continue to prevent bad things from happening now. I don't know that we fully answered his questions, I don't know that all of my theological questions have been answered. Hopefully, as distance and healing occur, we can all explain what happened so no one ever forgets, but also have the grace to remember, there is evil.
Thursday, September 5, 2019
Habits
Habits.
We all have them. Some are good, some are bad and some need a little work.
I've been thinking about habits lately. This time of year, second only to maybe the New Year, we all think about them a little more. Trying to get out of summer rest and relaxation and back to the busyness of the school year, we need to return to habits.
The military relies on habits, psychologists make big money on habits, the good and the bad. Veterinarians use habits too. I sometimes forget the habits that I have had ingrained in me since veterinary school. I almost always try to examine an animal in the same order of body systems, it makes me less likely to forget something.
Recently, they have suggested that we do our exams on cats in a different order. Instead of starting from the head and moving back, start from the back and move forward. I'm not sure if it's totally less threatening for a cat to get touched on it's back before you look them in the eye, but I've seen it help in some cases. It is hard to reprogram myself though.
We got our son a watch for the beginning of the school year. He loved it. I think it makes him feel like he's really grown up. I didn't anticipate he would become a taskmaster, but he did for a little while. Always wanting to know when we were leaving or doing things and keeping us on schedule. He woke up on time- for a day. He slept through the alarm the next 2 days.
I think of all the habits we want to have, but don't get around to. The chart that is divided into 4 categories (Important and Urgent; Not Important, but Urgent; Important, but not Urgent and Not Important or Urgent). I would put Facebook and checking the smartphone in that last category. The Important, but not Urgent category is unfortunately where I spend the least amount of time, I think.
Recently, we had the Gospel reading about the Virgins with the oil in their lamps. I thought of the habits that I'd like to do. The responsibilities in my prayer life and community life that I say, "That would be great to do- maybe I will focus on those things when I retire."
We know neither the hour or the day. Just as trying to start my son off with habits for the school year, I need to work on mine. Just as my son didn't get up to the alarm on the second day, I struggle with my habits too. But the important thing is that we keep trying. We remember that it is worth struggling with and we don't put off the habits we need to work on. While we may not be consistent every day, the more consistent we can be and we struggle to be the more likely we are to change something from a habit we struggle with to a habit that is ingrained in us. Don't give up, persevere and once you've mastered one, work on the next one. Keep the oil in your lamps and be ready.
We all have them. Some are good, some are bad and some need a little work.
I've been thinking about habits lately. This time of year, second only to maybe the New Year, we all think about them a little more. Trying to get out of summer rest and relaxation and back to the busyness of the school year, we need to return to habits.
The military relies on habits, psychologists make big money on habits, the good and the bad. Veterinarians use habits too. I sometimes forget the habits that I have had ingrained in me since veterinary school. I almost always try to examine an animal in the same order of body systems, it makes me less likely to forget something.
Recently, they have suggested that we do our exams on cats in a different order. Instead of starting from the head and moving back, start from the back and move forward. I'm not sure if it's totally less threatening for a cat to get touched on it's back before you look them in the eye, but I've seen it help in some cases. It is hard to reprogram myself though.
We got our son a watch for the beginning of the school year. He loved it. I think it makes him feel like he's really grown up. I didn't anticipate he would become a taskmaster, but he did for a little while. Always wanting to know when we were leaving or doing things and keeping us on schedule. He woke up on time- for a day. He slept through the alarm the next 2 days.
I think of all the habits we want to have, but don't get around to. The chart that is divided into 4 categories (Important and Urgent; Not Important, but Urgent; Important, but not Urgent and Not Important or Urgent). I would put Facebook and checking the smartphone in that last category. The Important, but not Urgent category is unfortunately where I spend the least amount of time, I think.
Recently, we had the Gospel reading about the Virgins with the oil in their lamps. I thought of the habits that I'd like to do. The responsibilities in my prayer life and community life that I say, "That would be great to do- maybe I will focus on those things when I retire."
We know neither the hour or the day. Just as trying to start my son off with habits for the school year, I need to work on mine. Just as my son didn't get up to the alarm on the second day, I struggle with my habits too. But the important thing is that we keep trying. We remember that it is worth struggling with and we don't put off the habits we need to work on. While we may not be consistent every day, the more consistent we can be and we struggle to be the more likely we are to change something from a habit we struggle with to a habit that is ingrained in us. Don't give up, persevere and once you've mastered one, work on the next one. Keep the oil in your lamps and be ready.
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