Sometimes you find yourself saying things your parents say...

 Finding yourself repeating to your children things your parents used to tell you can be rather cliche.

A while back though, I found myself saying something I think our Heavenly Father may have been telling me.  I heard it through my own mouth telling my son.

"My job isn't to make you happy.  It's to make you good."  Now obviously, God wants our happiness and parents want their children to be happy.  But the primary objective is that happiness is the fruit of goodness.

My son was advocating for video games as a way to happiness.  Unfortunately our family (and I will go ahead and indict all of our family) fell into some bad habits during the pandemic.  Whether it's social media, video games or just scrolling the phone (thankfully my son doesn't have his own phone yet), we were losing our way.

I explained to my son it was for everyone's good that we got re-centered on what mattered, and our time is valuable.

I'm not sure how much my son actually processed, but I processed my words.  I ask God for things that make me happy- that's a pretty natural thing for a child to do.  I need to understand though that just because He says "No" is not because he doesn't want me to be happy.  It's because he wants me to be good.  I am meant to be Holy, as we all are.  Sometimes wonderful blessings are not given to us.  Sometimes suffering is a part of our journey.  It is not because the Lord wants us to be unhappy.  He has greatness in store for us.  We need to rely on his paternal wisdom and the faith that some day happiness- eternal happiness is the fruit of our goodness.

Some more good books...

I meant to share these this summer, but things have been busy and I've been trying to keep up with my reading.  For some reason I'm really drawn to historical fiction.  Although the times can be dark, I love the stories or romance and heroism and it reminds me no matter what difficulties we are dealing with, humanity has gotten through many difficulties before.  I think my favorites on this list are the Codebreakers Secret and The Last White Rose.  The Last White Rose might make it to the top of my recommendations as it's the first time in 40 years I actually understand what the War of The Roses was about!

The Last White Rose

By Alison Weir

Well written historical fiction. Great way to bring history to life, shows the complexity of the characters and of the time. This is a very enjoyable read. It's not a quick read, it has a lot of detail and suspense and political intrigue. This book caused me to look back and see what the real history of the times were. It's fascinating the murder, mystery and political intrigue that were common in those days. I'd always heard about the "War of the Roses" but now have a greater grasp of it. This is a well-written book that is intriguing and a good read. 

The Codebreakers Secret

By Sara Ackerman

Great book!  Engaging, once I got into it, I couldn't put it down.  It seems like there are two different stories between wartime Hawaii and the wartime 60's, but of course the stories are interwoven.  A little bit of mystery, a great love story, throw in some suspense and murders this is a great book and I would read it again.  I also love all the details and language from Hawaii as well as the strong female characters.  I look forward to reading other books by this author.

The Girl From Guernica 

By Karen Robards

This was a great story.  A little romance action and suspense.  A, strong intelligent female character and an engaging and unpredictable story line.  I overall really enjoyed reading this book.  The book started fast and then slowed a little, but the great start helped get me engaged and want to keep reading.  A enjoyable read, one caution would be there are some parts of the book that are intense and show the gruesomeness of war, so not for people who are sensitive to that.

Raising Emotionally Strong Boys

By David Thomas

This book seemed to come to me at just the right time!  I love how its a fairly easy and quick read, but has lots of nuggets and tips.  The chapters are organized well with action items at the end of each chapter.  This book actually prompted us to go out and get some boxing gloves for my son (for him to box the couch when frustrated).  I think this is a book I will read and re-read.  Great for parents of young kids all the way up to young adults.  I love how this also incorporates Christian teaching and morality throughout the book.  It would be helpful for secular and non secular readers, but it's great to have a modern parenting book that has a Biblical anchor.

These books were provided as advance copies in exchange for my honest review.

“I am a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for us to earn fees by linking to Amazon.com and affiliated sites.”

Remembering to ask for help...

 I don't typically think of myself as someone who has a problem asking for help.  As a short person, I'm always asking tall people for help.  I also have to ask for help when I'm working.  Handling a dangerous animal, working fast to save a life, you learn to ask for help for everyone's sake.

I'm not too bad at asking for help from my husband or son either, but when it comes to other people, I'm less likely to ask for help.  I tend to feel guilty, or know that other people are just as busy, or busier than I am.  I like to offer to help others.  My husband often sees how my effort to help others will sometimes put our life off track momentarily, but I like to think of it as happy chaos.

A friend of ours last night asked if we could pick up her son, ( a good friend of my son from school) as she had an unexpected meeting.  She was apologetic.  I told her, "Why don't we pick him up and keep him for a playdate?  My son would love to have a playdate with him."  This worked out well and his Mom is getting to work uninterrupted this afternoon.  We have some other family friends, that in the past couple years, I'm more likely to ask for them to help with pick up from school, etc..  For a while, we were paying the older sister in the family to babysit (even though the parents were driving, etc.).  The family told us we didn't need to pay for a babysitter.  Our son had become like family to them and they were happy to help.  They are used to having the benefits of extended family in the area, whereas our family and our friend from last night are not.  I was thinking today that, for a lot of people and especially my generation and before, picking up other peoples kids, having them go to other people's houses, asking for last minute help was pretty normal (in some communities and situations, I'm sure this is still normal today).  But sometimes we either aren't comfortable with the community around us, don't know them that well or don't want to inconvenience others.  I think the worry about inconveniencing others is something we should try to let go of.  

Yes, we need to be respectful of the time and needs and situations of others.  Yes, some people have trouble with boundaries and saying, "No".   So maybe don't ask people if you know they would say yes to anything.  For those friends though that you can, ask.  I asked someone who I have a budding friendship with if she'd help me with my son's Halloween costume.  She totally could have said no.  I was half expecting it, or for her to charge me for her time (I did offer to pay).  Not only did she do a wonderful job, she told me she prayed for my family while she was working on it.  I was able to offer her some consolation and practical support, as we were able to be prayer partners for each other.  She was grateful to help out, to do something out of the ordinary for her and to give of herself.  Her kids are growing older, and my son's Halloween costume was her "opportunity to have someone wear a Halloween costume I made."

When we help and give of ourselves to others, we receive so much.  I think sometimes we need to allow others to give to us as well.  It benefits both the giver and the recipient.  Don't feel guilty about asking for help.  The worst that can happen is they say no.  The gifts that could happen are numerous.

What it all boils down to....

 I went to go to Confession the other day and no sooner had I started (don't worry, I'm not going to share the juicy tidbits) when the question of why I have one child came up.

Now, I know what priest I chose to go to.  He is a holy man and he is a man who adores large families (which I currently don't have).  I tried to head off this topic by saying, we have been praying for 10 years, we have been awaiting adoption for 5 years.  The priest tried to be helpful and tried to suggest various resources (which my husband and I already had known about and gone through).  He recalled various saints and centers and all sorts of things.  I think he was actually in more pain about the situation than I was at that exact moment.  Trying not to forgot my list of sins I had come to confess, I headed him off.  "What it all comes down to is surrendering our will, and being ok knowing that God's will may be different from ours."  The old priest paused and said, "Yep, that's about it."

It was touching how much this wise and holy man wanted to help and it was probably refreshing that those words actually came out of my mouth (because that's a hard pill to swallow).

May the healing sacrament of Confession help us all boil it down to surrender.  What a coincidence that this happened on the Feast of St. Therese, the Little Flower, who was perfected in her surrender.

Another Reminder to Choose Kind

 We never know what other people are dealing with, or the struggles they have.  I try to keep this in mind when people seem abrupt or rude or have an inappropriate response.  Sometimes, I'll find out later that someone is in the hospital or they have another worry on their plate, and I'm content that I chose kind, rather than to respond in-kind.

I've always known I can be more sensitive to criticism than others.  Sometimes, this has served me well.  I can become hyper vigilant and hard on myself.  Not always the best for mental health, but it has helped me succeed professionally and keep me motivated.  I still recall a time in my internship year when I made a mistake.  It was a pretty obvious, thoughtless mistake and I was ready for the technician who shamed everyone (to the point that I'm pretty sure Human Resources would have had a big file on her if they knew) to shame me.  I asked her why she didn't come down on me.  She answered simply, "because I know you will be far harder on yourself than I would."   

I have more recently found out that my reaction to criticism has something to do with my neurochemistry.  I have ADHD, and the biggest burden I seem to bear with it is the sensitivity to rejection.  This is actually something that a lot of people with ADHD have to deal with, but it was good for me to put a name to it.  It only took me 42 years.  The hard thing about this is it can cause you to withdraw from people who seem to hurt you, it can cause you to run away from those social situations, or it can cause you to "try too hard" and make yourself subject to more criticism.

While it is the most painful part of dealing with ADHD, I also see how it has worked for good in my life.  I am very empathetic, that has served me well professionally and personally, by being compassionate to others.

Fortunately, I have learned from working with young people professionally to not over-criticize.  There was a great catholicmom.com article recently about not pulling up the wheat with the weeds.  It talks about the Gospel of Matthew and how the landowner knows the great risk of pulling up the wheat with the weeds.  If we are hyper vigilant about picking out the weeds in others and our children, we may pull up or injure the wheat.  We are to be wise and gentle.

While I still experience pain from those who are not wise and gentle in my life (especially people who have difficulty apologizing), I am better able to put it in perspective and to try to let go.  I still have difficulty with being sensitive to criticism, it is apparently the cross I bear in this life and I am slowly learning how to offer it up and to remember that others do not necessarily have the same empathy that I have.  I can only hope that my parenting is wise and gentle and I allow the wheat to grow.

Was it an annoyance or a blessing?

 In a week that was somewhat trying, I had intended to get up early and go work out.  Instead I woke up to a chronic health condition making life a little harder.  I said forget it to working out and looked forward to going to First Friday Mass.  I have had a special devotion to the Sacred Heart of Jesus since my Grandma introduced it to me.  I have gone to consecutive First Fridays before, but I really wanted to try to reignite the devotion.  I had prepped my son all week that we were going to Mass.

I got him ready (reluctantly) to go, even letting him choose that we go to Mass where he went to summer camp, so he would be able to see some friends.

We got in the car and headed out.  As we were approaching a busy intersection, I noticed a loose dog.  I inwardly tried to convince myself that she had an owner and was just one of those privileged dogs in our area who got to walk off leash.  I kept an eye out as I was driving and it became apparent that she was lost.  There were a few people walking who were gawking, but were not trying to prevent her going into one of our area's busiest intersections.  I found a safe side street to pull over.

My son who apparently hadn't noticed the dog was confused.  "So it looks like we aren't going to Mass," I told him.  "What?" he responded, as I went to grab the spare leash I keep in the car (that's what you do when you're a vet).  "Come, help me catch a dog," I encouraged.  "What dog?" my son was confused.  As we turned the corner, he finally saw the dog.  He was confused that I had noticed it and he hadn't.  I told him it was my mommy-vet eyes.  We had to prevent the dog from getting run over, and hopefully find her owner.

My son who is very sweet, but not always the most co-operative, especially when an unplanned event came up, was helpful.  As the dog turned to run in the street, we convinced her to go down a slower road.  I tried unsuccessfully a couple times to get a leash on her.  I think my son's presence actually calmed her that I was an ok person if this kid hung out with me.  Of course I didn't have my phone, because I had not planned this dog rescue.  I called to the gawkers to please call the police or animal control (as at this time I didn't have the dog on a leash and I didn't want it darting in the street).  I didn't want the dog to get hit, but I could also envision a car crash happening from cars trying to avoid hitting the dog and people being on their phones and not alert during rush hour.  Unfortunately the gawkers just said, "Not our dog."  Thanks people.  So helpful.  So my son and I walked with the dog.  She was curious about us but not trusting enough to get a leash on her. So my son, myself and this unknown dog start walking the neighborhood knocking on doors trying to figure out if she belonged to any of the houses, or if they recognized her.  One gentleman answered and wished us luck, he didn't recognize her, he did tell me there was a dog that lived next door.  When I knocked on that door the dog barked from the window, so it was clear that wasn't her home.

By this time, I started talking in baby talk (which my son made fun of) but the dog responded well and finally let me leash her.  She apparently knew how to walk on a leash.  Yay!

She seemed like she belonged to someone because she was pretty friendly, clean and looked well-fed.  Of course she didn't have a collar with a phone number though.

Apparently she also has experience with jumping into a hatchback.  She promptly jumped in as soon as I opened it.  I got my phone and called the police non-emergency number as I found out animal control wasn't open for another 3 hours.   My son who is typically more of a cat person than a dog person (he will admit this) asked if we could keep her.  We even gave her a name.  My son wanted to call her Cookies and Cream.  I told him "Cookie" sounded like something she would be able to learn.  I told her we first had to see if she had a home, because I suspected she did.  If she didn't have a home, it would be a conversation to have with Daddy.  My son wanted to take her home, he was excited.  I thought of the cat, the geriatric dog and the husband.  Maybe not.

The neighborhood services division gentlemen arrived about 10 minutes later, after I got "Cookie" more comfortable in the car (she loved head rubs and baby talk).  He had a microchip scanner on him and she did have a microchip.

My son was a bit disappointed and I was a bit disappointed we didn't make it to Mass.  I decided to look at it though that somewhere there was a household who wouldn't have to grieve a dog today (and she looked like she was fairly young, perhaps even a big puppy).  Also, it was possible that we could have avoided a big accident in the intersection from someone hitting the dog.  So it's possible my little "annoyance" detour could have saved someone from a more painful catastrophe. It also taught my son that sometimes the Holy Spirit drives you down the right road at the right time, and you have to let your conscience guide you.

I hope Cookie went home and got some big hugs and when we got home, my son gave our dog who he is normally disinterested in, a little extra attention.

My husband has had to deal with the annoyance of me trying to chase down stray dogs a couple of times.  It is always a reminder to him that me being a veterinarian is not just a profession, it's a vocation.

Armor of God Book Review

 My son and I were happy to receive a complimentary copy of the series, Armor of God by Theresa Linden.  This is a six book series.

 

We absolutely loved this series. It is marketed as being great for kids getting ready to receive the Sacraments (which I agree with). We found that it's great for older kids and adults to read with them. This series is well written and teaches moral values (referring to the Catechism and the Bible) without seeming to force it. The stories are told naturally and are engaging. They bring you in and make you feel like you are with the characters. 

 

I also really appreciate how the characters are real. They make mistakes and they learn from their experiences. I hope this author will continue writing and maybe do some more series like this. The series takes place in a time that could be recognized as the middle ages (Knights and Dames, no TV's or iphones), but it also has strong female characters and doesn't seem to be pushing history, as it also has dragons, so it's a fantasy world that is relatable to today. This book is great for Catholics, but I think it also would be great for non-Catholic Christians as well, or anyone trying to teach their children virtues and morality.  

 

The series is well organized and each book has a theme based off of Ephesians 6:13-17.  “Therefore, put on the armor of God, that you may be able to resist on the evil day and, having done everything, to hold your ground.  So stand fast with your loins girded in truth, clothed with righteousness as a breastplate, and your feet shod in readiness for the gospel of peace.  In all circumstances, hold faith as a shield, to quench all the flaming arrows of the evil one.  And take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God.”

 

The final book, in particular, includes many biblical verses.  The only thing I would say that could be improved is it refers to a one-armed knight having “hands”.  A funny conversation with my son ensued how you can have hands with only one arm.  As that is the only editing error we found in 6 books, I think that’s reasonable.  I also loved that the author made a point of letting the readers know, even though the characters had earned their pieces of armor, they had to continue to earn and retain it through practicing the virtues throughout their life.  It isn’t a one-time deal.  What a great reminder for all of us.

 

I can't believe it's August...

 I was just talking to a client the other day, and I can't believe it's August!  (Cue reminder to give my pets their monthly heartworm and flea and tick preventative, I somehow always remember it when I'm telling others to do it and it escapes my memory when I return home).  I could do a whole other post on fleas and ticks (maybe next week).

Somehow though, the Lazy Days of Summer seem to be my crunch time.  Time to try to get those school projects started, time to realize all the things I had put off until summer need to get done.  Trying to develop systems so that when September comes it doesn't hit us like a gong.  Compounding those things is the realization that an overseas trip that I was supposed to go on two years ago and kept being pushed back is actually going to happen.  Excitement, anxiety, yep, sounds like. a new school year.

It's easy to get anxious, but I will focus on some blessings.  After 42 years of life, I have actually found some systems that keep me on track.  I have a husband who can help keep me on track and I have a kid who can smile and give me a hug even on days when I completely go off track.  I also have the blessing that my son's school has school supplies included within tuition.  I think I was bummed about this his kindergarten year because I didn't really get to do "Back To School" shopping for him.  It also helps that he wears a uniform, so I'm free of a whole mental load I appreciate others have to deal with.

We haven't gone to the pool as much as we were hoping to and we haven't gotten to go on our annual camping trip (a combination of a wrench thrown into my husbands work schedule and some bad weather).  We have had a lot of fun experiences, and the feeling like just maybe things are returning to normal.

I hope the start of your August has been good and please share any tips you have for having a calm and peaceful start to the academic year.  We can't control peace in our World (though we can pray for it), but we can set the tone for Peace in our home.

Summer Reading

 I've been getting some good reading done this summer.  Either waiting for appointments, or just hanging out or traveling, I've been able to accomplish a lot of reading.  I'd like to share some of my favorite books. I will try to continue to do a "Book Review Tuesday" as we get into the heat of the summer : )

"Playing Doctor" by John Lawrence was a humorous and fun read.  While it shared some intense situations because it is a autobiography about a doctor in training, it was done in a lighthearted and humble manner.  I could very much relate to the stories and share with the author its the humans, more than the medicine that makes our jobs difficult.

This was a very entertaining and engaging book.  As a veterinarian who has done advanced training, I can very much relate to the medical mishaps, and how dealing with people is a lot harder than the medicine.  This was humorous and yet times educational.  The author has a great way of telling the stories with a humble and humorous perspective.  The author is eclectic and has a wide range of interests.  It is apparent he is a fun guy and someone you'd want to entertain you in times of need (and he'd be a fun character to drink a beer with at a bar).  I'm sure his medical skills have progressed beyond where he was as a student and a resident, but we all have to start somewhere and this was a fun reminder of "good judgement comes from experience, and experience comes from bad judgement."  A very entertaining and fairly easy read.

In a different genre, I also enjoyed, "Escape from Amsterdam" by Lauralee Bliss.  This was a good book overall.  It was intriguing and easy to read.  While the World War II genre already has a rather large collection, this book seemed to be fresh and offer a new perspective.  The Christian/faith based perspective brought something lighter to a genre that can be heavy and difficult.  While the darkness of the period was present, the material had enough innocence that a 4th grader would be able to hear or read it without being traumatized.  An overall engaging book and love story that took place during a difficult time in history.

“I am a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for us to earn fees by linking to Amazon.com and affiliated sites.”

A Different Perspective

 I've written about this topic before, but I will write about it again.  Especially since it seems our culture is on a precipice with the dignity and goodness of the gift of life.

My husband and I (and our son) have been waiting for 4 years.  I'd like to think patiently waiting (but truthfully, it's not always like that) to add a new member to our family through the gift of adoption.  We went through the home study, the interviews, the deep peak into our lives as well as all the tests.   My son's pediatrician said it was the first time she ever drug tested a 5 year old (we found out later it was an error on the paperwork).  Thankfully, he complied.

The wait has had its highs and lows.  The hope of maybe we will get picked (the biological parents pick adoptive parents through our agency, or the first option is the person who is waiting longest).  I think the longest waiting in our agency has been 7 years.  My husband and I have searched our hearts and from the beginning have been open to babies with special needs and special circumstances.  We've had to look up rare genetic disorders, or refresh our memories regarding other special situations.  We've offered up our family as a potential home.  There can definitely be a feeling of rejection at times.  I remember one point thinking, "do we look too old, too ugly, should I get a professional photographer?"  When you try and try and try again and it just doesn't work out, it can get hard.

Christmas and Mother's Day and often school events where I see these big beautiful families can be hard.  My son feels it too.  He gets sad at grandparents day, when the grandparents come to school, because he's the only kid in the family.  He has wanted a brother or sister as long as he can remember.  He has also had an open heart with us.  He says whether it's a brother or sister he receives, he will be happy.  He has even told us if the child wasn't able to play sports with him, was in a wheelchair or had bones that would break easily and limit activity, he would rejoice in being a brother.

It's easy to get disheartened, it's easy to be saddened, it easy to feel like infertility is a huge injustice.

I believe we have found the gift of it though.  The gift to realize how precious life is and to grow in our love and faith.  Every time we find out we aren't picked and we were hopeful because we thought it would be a good pick, it hurts.  That's just being honest.  I do see the graces though, and I'm sure, at the end of time, God will show us why he meant this journey for us.

I am fairly open with providing testimony and I'd like to provide it here.  Whether a baby has a medical need, emotional need or expected difficulties, they are wanted.  I told our pastor that babies with Downs Syndrome are quite competitive to adopt.  I've told my friend who is a pediatrician (and receives numerous texts about all sorts of medical conditions so we can understand what we would potentially be signing up for) how we have not been bothering him in vain.  We have put our name forward for those babies and we just weren't chosen.

I tell the people I work with, our friends how long we've been waiting, and I share with them when I think we just might have a chance (our life could change remarkably with one phone call, so I have to let the people I work for that I have to be careful with commitments).  Living a life in limbo for 4 years is hard.  Not knowing if vacations you plan will get changed or you will travel out of state to a pediatric hospital with one phone call, it takes some adaptability and spontaneity.  It is worth it for us.

This journey is especially worth it if I get to share with others how wanted these babies are.  One friend gave our name over to a mother who was trying to make a decision with what she wanted to do with an unexpected pregnancy.  I promptly sent pictures so she could see what a family who is hoping to add a member might look like.  I was told she was interested in adoption and I had her contact our social worker.  I don't know what happened, but I hope to hear, some day that she chose life.

Fostering is an option that we looked into before adoption.  There is a variety of factors that this would not work for us at this time.  Sadly, where we live, you must get the biological parents permission to enter a church with the foster child.  We were told to expect that you would not be able to go to Mass as a family, be prepared a parent would stay home with the foster child.  As our faith is a huge part of our life (my son actually found me on Google Earth in the Church parking lot).  This just didn't seem the best option at this time.  We hope circumstances will change and we may be able to foster children in the future.

I share the above because as we discuss things in this time, the equation has more pieces than what seem to be discussed.  There are loving families who wait and grieve for the family members they would have welcomed.  Please share this with young people, so that they can share as well that there are families looking to God's grace and the gift of biological parents to increase.

Evangelizing as a Lay Person

 An acquaintance of mine was talking with some friends and a priest.  He lamented that the priest gets to evangelize, but Lay people really don't.  He thought that lay people evangelizing meant pointing out to other people how their lives are less than Catholic.

I became rather passionate about his misunderstanding and said, "What?  There are so many ways to evangelize!  Just living joyfully in this broken world is evangelization in itself."

I tried to explain how I work in a very secular world.  I don't even know of any other Catholics that I work with.  I don't shout from the rooftops I'm Catholic, but I don't hide it either.  As a matter of fact, most people have probably figured out that I'm Catholic from a silent practice I do.

In the Workplace (and the rest of my life as well)

1) Before meals or snacks, whether people are present or not, I make the Sign of the Cross.

2) When someone shares a difficulty or obstacle, I ask them if they would mind if I pray for them

3) When people ask me about our adoption journey, and if we are still waiting, I share with them we have been waiting over 4 years, and that we are open to babies with difficulties, babies with Downs Syndrome, etc., and that there are SOOO many people waiting that our adoption agency has been closed to new waiting families for over 2 years.

Small things in the Real World;

1) I try to request/recommend our library purchase Catholic books (I recommend them for the online library, so it's just a couple of steps on an app, I'm sure you could do this in-person as well).  I may have already read them, but if they purchase them based on my recommendation, others will get an opportunity to read them as well.

2) When I'm on the phone, even with customer service people, etc. if an opportunity comes up to discuss prayer or faith, I will.  There was one day, where I was in a bit of a hurry and the customer service representative was polite and talkative.  One part of me just wanted to say, "Just fill my prescription."  Instead, I kept the door open and the woman told me how her mother has been sick.  I asked her what her mom's name was so we could include her in our family prayer that night.  She sounded like she teared up and was so grateful for the prayers.

3) Sometimes, it's just being open to situations that come up and just showing up as your authentic self.

4) I sometimes have to remind myself, "I have a Pro-Life magnet on the back of my car."  This reminder makes me more patient as a driver, and more likely to let people merge or behave in a more generous way while driving.  If I'm pro-Life, the message is going to be received more if I'm selfless.

5) Going along with the above...  Thanks to my Pro-Life magnet, an old coworker spotted my car and knew it was my car (I had no idea she had actually noticed my magnet, as people don't always notice those things).  She came out of the business she was in to find me because she noticed my car.  She then introduced me to someone who presented me with an opportunity.  All because I was recognized by the Magnet (and make and model) of my car.

Living an authentic Catholic life is the BEST form of evangelization, I sometimes think.  Of course I try to do other Works of Charity and kindness and discipleship.  But I really think the most progress I have is just being authentic.  I will often randomly have conversations that are pro-life, pro-adoption, pro-naprotechnology, etc..  My husband wonders how these topics ever come up, but living authentically, they do and I've learned to be open, present a non-judgmental point of view and yet share my authentic Catholic values.

What suggestions do you have for evangelizing as Laity?

The wisdom of small spaces...

 ometimes, we need to be reminded of our blessings.  My husband and I moved into our starter house about 10 years ago.  It’s a pretty nice house, but not a lot of space, especially for storage, or a designated play area for our son.  I don’t think I became disenchanted by it until the pandemic when it always seems like everybody is in everybody else’s space.  I’m always telling my son to pick up toys or clear his latest project off the dinner table.  In a house of introverts, we don’t really each have our own space (or as in the case of my husband, his space for work is also the dog’s space, the space for camping gear and the coldest space in the house.  But at least it’s quiet.) Our extended family has also commented on our lack of space, but let’s just say our circumstances keep us in this space.  Most of the time, we are content with it.  But I think sometimes we forget that whatever space is a blessing if we are all together.

 

A few years ago my son commented that he wanted a bigger house.  I looked at him and said, “I’d love one too, but it costs more money.”  “Well then, get more money!” my son responded.  as if there’s an ATM that is endless.  The innocence of children…. “Well, if you want mommy to get more money, it means I’ll have to spend a lot more time working.  You will have to spend a lot more time at childcare than you already do.”  He quickly replied, “Mommy, this house is fine.”

 

My husband and I like traveling around and looking at mansions.  I never really dream of moving into a mansion (I can’t imagine cleaning one, and I don’t think I would be content with that much space).  But the other night, on a walk, I walked by some single family homes and realized something.  If we had a bigger house, we would each have our own space. 

 

I may not dream of a mansion.  But I do dream of a little den where I can retire in my favorite chair in silence and read and pray without hearing the TV or being disrupted. 

 

While initially the thought of each having our own space seemed like a dream, the flip side occurred to me.  If we eachl had our own space, being a house of introverts, I think we wouldn’t interact very much.  We wouldn’t have the same threesome we have.  While we drive each other nuts sometimes, there is joy. 

 

One time during the pandemic, I thought I lived in a musical, because my son and husband were randomly breaking into song all the time.  Sometimes, it was a bit much.  Trying to work and focus with virtual school in the background and the cat chasing the dog and everything going on at once would be a challenge for anyone.

 

We have a unity.  Everyone has different circumstances (I don’t begrudge anyone with a larger house).  But, I remembered how God provides us with the right blessings for our station in life.  If my son not having a designated play space makes me more likely to come over and play a game of chess with him,  or more likely to have him come over and see me reading and ask me to read to him, I’m happy to live in an open-floor plan, no private space house.  This is where God put us and I rejoice in his wisdom.