Another Reminder to Choose Kind

 We never know what other people are dealing with, or the struggles they have.  I try to keep this in mind when people seem abrupt or rude or have an inappropriate response.  Sometimes, I'll find out later that someone is in the hospital or they have another worry on their plate, and I'm content that I chose kind, rather than to respond in-kind.

I've always known I can be more sensitive to criticism than others.  Sometimes, this has served me well.  I can become hyper vigilant and hard on myself.  Not always the best for mental health, but it has helped me succeed professionally and keep me motivated.  I still recall a time in my internship year when I made a mistake.  It was a pretty obvious, thoughtless mistake and I was ready for the technician who shamed everyone (to the point that I'm pretty sure Human Resources would have had a big file on her if they knew) to shame me.  I asked her why she didn't come down on me.  She answered simply, "because I know you will be far harder on yourself than I would."   

I have more recently found out that my reaction to criticism has something to do with my neurochemistry.  I have ADHD, and the biggest burden I seem to bear with it is the sensitivity to rejection.  This is actually something that a lot of people with ADHD have to deal with, but it was good for me to put a name to it.  It only took me 42 years.  The hard thing about this is it can cause you to withdraw from people who seem to hurt you, it can cause you to run away from those social situations, or it can cause you to "try too hard" and make yourself subject to more criticism.

While it is the most painful part of dealing with ADHD, I also see how it has worked for good in my life.  I am very empathetic, that has served me well professionally and personally, by being compassionate to others.

Fortunately, I have learned from working with young people professionally to not over-criticize.  There was a great catholicmom.com article recently about not pulling up the wheat with the weeds.  It talks about the Gospel of Matthew and how the landowner knows the great risk of pulling up the wheat with the weeds.  If we are hyper vigilant about picking out the weeds in others and our children, we may pull up or injure the wheat.  We are to be wise and gentle.

While I still experience pain from those who are not wise and gentle in my life (especially people who have difficulty apologizing), I am better able to put it in perspective and to try to let go.  I still have difficulty with being sensitive to criticism, it is apparently the cross I bear in this life and I am slowly learning how to offer it up and to remember that others do not necessarily have the same empathy that I have.  I can only hope that my parenting is wise and gentle and I allow the wheat to grow.

Was it an annoyance or a blessing?

 In a week that was somewhat trying, I had intended to get up early and go work out.  Instead I woke up to a chronic health condition making life a little harder.  I said forget it to working out and looked forward to going to First Friday Mass.  I have had a special devotion to the Sacred Heart of Jesus since my Grandma introduced it to me.  I have gone to consecutive First Fridays before, but I really wanted to try to reignite the devotion.  I had prepped my son all week that we were going to Mass.

I got him ready (reluctantly) to go, even letting him choose that we go to Mass where he went to summer camp, so he would be able to see some friends.

We got in the car and headed out.  As we were approaching a busy intersection, I noticed a loose dog.  I inwardly tried to convince myself that she had an owner and was just one of those privileged dogs in our area who got to walk off leash.  I kept an eye out as I was driving and it became apparent that she was lost.  There were a few people walking who were gawking, but were not trying to prevent her going into one of our area's busiest intersections.  I found a safe side street to pull over.

My son who apparently hadn't noticed the dog was confused.  "So it looks like we aren't going to Mass," I told him.  "What?" he responded, as I went to grab the spare leash I keep in the car (that's what you do when you're a vet).  "Come, help me catch a dog," I encouraged.  "What dog?" my son was confused.  As we turned the corner, he finally saw the dog.  He was confused that I had noticed it and he hadn't.  I told him it was my mommy-vet eyes.  We had to prevent the dog from getting run over, and hopefully find her owner.

My son who is very sweet, but not always the most co-operative, especially when an unplanned event came up, was helpful.  As the dog turned to run in the street, we convinced her to go down a slower road.  I tried unsuccessfully a couple times to get a leash on her.  I think my son's presence actually calmed her that I was an ok person if this kid hung out with me.  Of course I didn't have my phone, because I had not planned this dog rescue.  I called to the gawkers to please call the police or animal control (as at this time I didn't have the dog on a leash and I didn't want it darting in the street).  I didn't want the dog to get hit, but I could also envision a car crash happening from cars trying to avoid hitting the dog and people being on their phones and not alert during rush hour.  Unfortunately the gawkers just said, "Not our dog."  Thanks people.  So helpful.  So my son and I walked with the dog.  She was curious about us but not trusting enough to get a leash on her. So my son, myself and this unknown dog start walking the neighborhood knocking on doors trying to figure out if she belonged to any of the houses, or if they recognized her.  One gentleman answered and wished us luck, he didn't recognize her, he did tell me there was a dog that lived next door.  When I knocked on that door the dog barked from the window, so it was clear that wasn't her home.

By this time, I started talking in baby talk (which my son made fun of) but the dog responded well and finally let me leash her.  She apparently knew how to walk on a leash.  Yay!

She seemed like she belonged to someone because she was pretty friendly, clean and looked well-fed.  Of course she didn't have a collar with a phone number though.

Apparently she also has experience with jumping into a hatchback.  She promptly jumped in as soon as I opened it.  I got my phone and called the police non-emergency number as I found out animal control wasn't open for another 3 hours.   My son who is typically more of a cat person than a dog person (he will admit this) asked if we could keep her.  We even gave her a name.  My son wanted to call her Cookies and Cream.  I told him "Cookie" sounded like something she would be able to learn.  I told her we first had to see if she had a home, because I suspected she did.  If she didn't have a home, it would be a conversation to have with Daddy.  My son wanted to take her home, he was excited.  I thought of the cat, the geriatric dog and the husband.  Maybe not.

The neighborhood services division gentlemen arrived about 10 minutes later, after I got "Cookie" more comfortable in the car (she loved head rubs and baby talk).  He had a microchip scanner on him and she did have a microchip.

My son was a bit disappointed and I was a bit disappointed we didn't make it to Mass.  I decided to look at it though that somewhere there was a household who wouldn't have to grieve a dog today (and she looked like she was fairly young, perhaps even a big puppy).  Also, it was possible that we could have avoided a big accident in the intersection from someone hitting the dog.  So it's possible my little "annoyance" detour could have saved someone from a more painful catastrophe. It also taught my son that sometimes the Holy Spirit drives you down the right road at the right time, and you have to let your conscience guide you.

I hope Cookie went home and got some big hugs and when we got home, my son gave our dog who he is normally disinterested in, a little extra attention.

My husband has had to deal with the annoyance of me trying to chase down stray dogs a couple of times.  It is always a reminder to him that me being a veterinarian is not just a profession, it's a vocation.

Armor of God Book Review

 My son and I were happy to receive a complimentary copy of the series, Armor of God by Theresa Linden.  This is a six book series.

 

We absolutely loved this series. It is marketed as being great for kids getting ready to receive the Sacraments (which I agree with). We found that it's great for older kids and adults to read with them. This series is well written and teaches moral values (referring to the Catechism and the Bible) without seeming to force it. The stories are told naturally and are engaging. They bring you in and make you feel like you are with the characters. 

 

I also really appreciate how the characters are real. They make mistakes and they learn from their experiences. I hope this author will continue writing and maybe do some more series like this. The series takes place in a time that could be recognized as the middle ages (Knights and Dames, no TV's or iphones), but it also has strong female characters and doesn't seem to be pushing history, as it also has dragons, so it's a fantasy world that is relatable to today. This book is great for Catholics, but I think it also would be great for non-Catholic Christians as well, or anyone trying to teach their children virtues and morality.  

 

The series is well organized and each book has a theme based off of Ephesians 6:13-17.  “Therefore, put on the armor of God, that you may be able to resist on the evil day and, having done everything, to hold your ground.  So stand fast with your loins girded in truth, clothed with righteousness as a breastplate, and your feet shod in readiness for the gospel of peace.  In all circumstances, hold faith as a shield, to quench all the flaming arrows of the evil one.  And take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God.”

 

The final book, in particular, includes many biblical verses.  The only thing I would say that could be improved is it refers to a one-armed knight having “hands”.  A funny conversation with my son ensued how you can have hands with only one arm.  As that is the only editing error we found in 6 books, I think that’s reasonable.  I also loved that the author made a point of letting the readers know, even though the characters had earned their pieces of armor, they had to continue to earn and retain it through practicing the virtues throughout their life.  It isn’t a one-time deal.  What a great reminder for all of us.

 

I can't believe it's August...

 I was just talking to a client the other day, and I can't believe it's August!  (Cue reminder to give my pets their monthly heartworm and flea and tick preventative, I somehow always remember it when I'm telling others to do it and it escapes my memory when I return home).  I could do a whole other post on fleas and ticks (maybe next week).

Somehow though, the Lazy Days of Summer seem to be my crunch time.  Time to try to get those school projects started, time to realize all the things I had put off until summer need to get done.  Trying to develop systems so that when September comes it doesn't hit us like a gong.  Compounding those things is the realization that an overseas trip that I was supposed to go on two years ago and kept being pushed back is actually going to happen.  Excitement, anxiety, yep, sounds like. a new school year.

It's easy to get anxious, but I will focus on some blessings.  After 42 years of life, I have actually found some systems that keep me on track.  I have a husband who can help keep me on track and I have a kid who can smile and give me a hug even on days when I completely go off track.  I also have the blessing that my son's school has school supplies included within tuition.  I think I was bummed about this his kindergarten year because I didn't really get to do "Back To School" shopping for him.  It also helps that he wears a uniform, so I'm free of a whole mental load I appreciate others have to deal with.

We haven't gone to the pool as much as we were hoping to and we haven't gotten to go on our annual camping trip (a combination of a wrench thrown into my husbands work schedule and some bad weather).  We have had a lot of fun experiences, and the feeling like just maybe things are returning to normal.

I hope the start of your August has been good and please share any tips you have for having a calm and peaceful start to the academic year.  We can't control peace in our World (though we can pray for it), but we can set the tone for Peace in our home.

Summer Reading

 I've been getting some good reading done this summer.  Either waiting for appointments, or just hanging out or traveling, I've been able to accomplish a lot of reading.  I'd like to share some of my favorite books. I will try to continue to do a "Book Review Tuesday" as we get into the heat of the summer : )

"Playing Doctor" by John Lawrence was a humorous and fun read.  While it shared some intense situations because it is a autobiography about a doctor in training, it was done in a lighthearted and humble manner.  I could very much relate to the stories and share with the author its the humans, more than the medicine that makes our jobs difficult.

This was a very entertaining and engaging book.  As a veterinarian who has done advanced training, I can very much relate to the medical mishaps, and how dealing with people is a lot harder than the medicine.  This was humorous and yet times educational.  The author has a great way of telling the stories with a humble and humorous perspective.  The author is eclectic and has a wide range of interests.  It is apparent he is a fun guy and someone you'd want to entertain you in times of need (and he'd be a fun character to drink a beer with at a bar).  I'm sure his medical skills have progressed beyond where he was as a student and a resident, but we all have to start somewhere and this was a fun reminder of "good judgement comes from experience, and experience comes from bad judgement."  A very entertaining and fairly easy read.

In a different genre, I also enjoyed, "Escape from Amsterdam" by Lauralee Bliss.  This was a good book overall.  It was intriguing and easy to read.  While the World War II genre already has a rather large collection, this book seemed to be fresh and offer a new perspective.  The Christian/faith based perspective brought something lighter to a genre that can be heavy and difficult.  While the darkness of the period was present, the material had enough innocence that a 4th grader would be able to hear or read it without being traumatized.  An overall engaging book and love story that took place during a difficult time in history.

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