Catholic At Home- A Review

I had the pleasure of viewing a new premium video series called Catholic At Home.

It is a series of fairly short (around 5 minutes) reflections, catechesis and information on,  "How God is calling us to Holiness through our families."  For a busy, active family, I think going through this series one day at a time is very doable.

It is professionally produced and has great images to illustrate points and short vignettes.  One of the best explanations I've heard of the Trinity in a while was distilled down to a very understandable level.

Parts of the series talk about how to pray, how to read sacred scriptures as a family.

Initially it seemed the presenter spoke very slow and deliberate.  I got used to it though, and realized in the cadence it gave me time to absorb and meditate.  Sometimes I think I need a change of pace to just not tone out the message, so this was initially a turn-off, but I
grew to appreciate the cadence the further I got into the material.

I enjoyed how this program was a mix of catechesis and practical applications such as how you can and should live a liturgical life at home as well as forgiveness in a family.  I look forward to viewing more of their material in the future.

I think overall this was a good series, and a great way to have many "mini-retreats" in this stay-at-home time.  It is a 21 day series and the price of $24.95 is fairly reasonable for the professional and well-done material.  This might also be a good gift idea for someone (a good idea for a small amount of date time for parents to watch together, or include in the gift giving time for someone to disappear with a cup of coffee for 5 minutes)

Not my proudest moment, but some lessons learned....

 A couple of weeks ago, my mom and I went to pray outside of an abortion clinic.  It had been a while since I had done this because there is no parking nearby where you aren't at risk of being towed.  My mom calculated that our walk was about a mile, though I don't think it was quite that bad.

It was a walk along a VERY busy road.  We made it to the area with other prayer warriors and prayed a rosary.  We then headed back to the car.  I had to run an errand next, so we went on to my next stop, where I realized I couldn't find my wallet.  I hoped and prayed that I was being absent-minded (like the day before when I had left my wallet at home when I was at the doctor's office).  I knew in my gut though, that the wallet was somewhere along the busy road.  I went through a series of emotions, frustration and anger with myself, questioning whether I'm starting to have cognitive dysfunction (my husband had tried to gently suggest this might be the case and then I reminded him I'm a working mother who has a lot of stuff going on and I'm pretty sure undiagnosed ADD).

I also questioned God.  Certainly not His existence, but His reasoning.  Seriously?  Seriously you are going to let me lose my wallet when I got up early on a Saturday morning to do something that is not popular in the area and I'm going to get chastised for?  Of all times to lose a wallet, when I'm trying to be charitable?  I changed my prayer and said, "ok, it happened, now what are you going to do?  I'm waiting for you to bring some good out of this...."  I then prayed to St. Anthony.  I then e-mailed all the people in our parish Respect For Life group to please pray for St. Anthony's intercession for me (and to see if anyone had happened to pick up a wallet).

I went back to the busy street and re-combed the area along with my mom.  No wallet.

I went home and decided I needed to eat lunch, because despair is better with food.  I resolved after eating to look up all the things I needed to cancel or get replaced.

I received a call from REI.  While that might not seem strange, it was strange.  I hadn't ordered anything.  I listened to the voicemail.  Apparently someone was trying to frantically get a hold of me because they had found my wallet.  I called REI and got redirected through a few confused people and got a hold of the customer service representative who had called.  She was excited!  "There's a woman who's trying to get a hold of you because she said you left your ENTIRE wallet, with like your whole life on the side of ____ road!".  "Yes, yes, you are awesome," I replied.  She then gave me the woman's contact info to get a hold of her.  She sounded very excited and pleased to make my day.

I contacted the Good Samaritan and picked up my wallet.  She had told me she didn't want to send it in the mail and she had tried to get a hold of me by contacting my bank but they only froze my card....  She saw my REI membership card and thought she'd give it a try.  I'm sure grateful she did.  She did what a lot of people wouldn't do.  Not that many people would steal a wallet, but to go through the extra work and brainpower to try to track me down.  She wouldn't accept a reward.  She just simply said, "I've been in your situation before, this is what you do."

I shared the story with my parish group to follow up.  I told them, yes.  I did find the wallet, and thank you for praying for the intercession of St. Anthony.  I thought of how the woman at REI got to be a hero today, in a time when people are stressed and quite frankly cranky to customer service representatives (and veterinarians).  I thought how the young mom who helped me got an opportunity to make a generous gesture and I thought of the opportunity of the parish group to come together in community for prayer (even as mundane as a lost wallet) and see a positive result.  I didn't understand why God had let me lose my wallet (from a zipped pocket, nonetheless).  But I'm quite confident He knows why and I'm reminded the next time I want to question His ways, I just need to pray for His Will.

Essential Worker.....

I write the following with great gratitude for the nurses, doctors, grocery store workers and those on the frontlines.  They are heroes.

I used to feel guilty about being called an essential worker....  I'm a healthcare worker (for animals).  So, not exactly on the frontlines.   But.. as I was talking to a colleague we still bear the responsibility of deciding whether we should go to work.  Going to work for us doesn't mean teleworking, it's just not possible.  Going to work for us means getting pretty up close to our fellow co-workers (as much as we would like to be able to examine an angry cat from 6 feet away, it just isn't feasible).  We have to daily make decisions on risk, our families, our livelihoods.

I've noticed that everything we do at work just takes longer.  People also seem to get angrier and frustrated easily.  A colleague remarked, "Side-effect of COVID whether you test positive or not- ability to become crazy and mad much quicker".  I've noticed people are sharing much more of their life stories.  Sometimes, it's very helpful to understanding what's going on with the pet.   Sometimes I just have to remind myself this might be that person's most meaningful interaction of the day.  While I'm not helping their pet directly, I may be helping them by patiently listening.

We also have to have empathy.  I have found myself and colleagues taking risks and being compassionate, walking a line between personal safety and compassion.  Euthanasia is a hard time in "normal" circumstances.  Try adding in a pandemic.  Different clinics have navigated this issue differently.  I kind of walk a line between personal safety and being compassionate.  We try to do things as we can outside (not possible with angry cats though).  Euthanasia by nature involves compassion.  People in mourning have difficulty keeping their masks on through tears.  They long for touch.  I was never big on hugging strangers, but I sometimes would touch a hand or arm to convey my empathy.  Gone are those days.

I've found that people are thirsting for community.  We are MADE to be in community.  This time is particularly hard for my single coworkers who don't have family in the area.  They have said if they didn't have this work, riskier than working at home as it is, they would go crazy.  They have admitted to going borderline crazy already.

Our retired priest at our parish wanted to fist bump people after the last Mass we went to.  While my son has been trained NOT TO TOUCH anything or anyone at this time, I turned to my son and said, "give him a fist bump, I have the hand sanitizer ready, but we need to give him a fist bump."  Different people have different requirements for physical connection.  Neuropsychology says that the power of touch is that it releases oxytocin (the bonding hormone) and that thus decreases cortisol.  

Decreasing cortisol helps our resilience.  Whether it's physical touch or trying to touch someone by listening, we have the ability to help each other be resilient at this time.

Everyone is walking and negotiating different aspects of their health at this time.  Whether it's preventing an infection or preserving mental health, we need the support of each other.  Whether it's listening, touching or reaching out. we all need to take care of each other.

In some ways, aren't we all essential workers?  We are all essential to each other.  Community is essential...

Strange Times for Everyone

The title of this post sounds cliche.  There isn't really a new "normal".  The word I seem to keep using with my husband is "sustainable".  Whether the decisions we make are sustainable.  When we were trying to keep the hospital admissions down in March and April, we were quite rigid.  We are adapting.

The initial precautions we took in March/April are not sustainable for the long-term for our family.  The uncertainties of work, the wish to sustain relationships, all of these things need to factor into the decisions we make, besides keeping our family healthy.  We are blesse

d that our family does not have anyone at extreme high risk of the disease, but we do have parents who are more at risk than we are.  We also know that they sometimes take less precautions than we do.

With our son, I see the role isolation has taken in his life.  As an only child (not by choice) he is forced to be with us all the time.  He is becoming more of anadult ahead of his time while at the same time becoming more engaged in video games (of the sports variety).  We used to not allow much digital time in our house, but the need to get work done, keep him occupied and realizing that he can't watch sports games on TV like he used to has changed how much we allow.  (I am sometimes shocked at all the old games he finds on the TV.  He will ask me if I was at a sporting event he's watching that happened in the early 2000's.)  My kid actually told me, "It's endemic to me that I have difficulty breathing if I don't have soda, games or dessert."  Yes, my 7 year old actually used the word endemic.

We are trying to balance learning, play and quiet time in a whole new way.  We used to never have TV or anything on during dinner time.  Dinner time was a time for us to connect.  I can't remember how it was exactly said, but our family realized that we really are together all day most of the time, so instead of forcing more conversation at dinner, we've started listening to audiobooks together.

Fortunately, we were able to go to my family's lake house for a brief respite, and there were boys his age there.  It was awe

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some.  It was like watching my kid become a kid again.  Interacting and socializing outside with his peers brought out a new joy.  Swimming, slip and slide, baseball and other lower risk activities were a great way to connect.  It reminded me that his childhood memories are not going to be like mine (I have no idea how he's going to remember this time period but I can only hope he will remember the good parts of all this "togetherness" and not the frustrations). 

 Even though his childhood will have a memory of a huge departure from "normal" and a lot of disruption, he will still have memories of childhood.  At this time, I don't think my role as a parent is to make life "normal" for my child.  I think my husband and I have the responsibility to walk in faith, find room for joy and not deny that there are some disappointments.  Jesus calls us to grow and these times are testing the soil we are planted on.  Everyone needs grace at this time and we are happy to find that in our Catholic faith.

Getting Back Into Church

As I'm sure many of you have experienced, watching Mass from home is missing a lot more than the Eucharist, (which is obviously the most important).  Spiritual communion, while helpful, is not the same as receiving the physical sacrament.

My husband and I tried to keep watching Mass at the same time on Sundays (and occasionally Saturday vigil) and we made a point out of changing out of our pajamas or casual clothes, putting the kitten away to stop his antics from distracting us and telling our son he had to pay attention during the Gospel reading and the consecration.  His difficulty paying attention to Mass at home made me worried that there would be quite a bit of regression when we got back into the pews.

My emotions and thoughts on missing Mass has vacillated from a deep longing and attraction to receiving the Eucharist (I convinced my husband to get up at 5 AM on our anniversary to make sure we could be one of the first 10 people to attend Daily Mass as that is where the limit was at the time), to feeling guilty that I somehow didn't have a deeper longing and need and despair as some people I know.  In some ways, it felt like life was still going on, despite the absence from the Sacraments.

This past week, we were able to go to Mass as a family for the first time in several months.  Though we were wearing masks, there was a lot of hand sanitizer and no missals, it felt like coming home.  My son, to my shock was impeccably behaved (although one thought I had was the loss of oxygen he had from wearing the mask may have helped, which he attested later to me that he couldn't breathe at times during Mass).

As a veterinarian, I've had to train myself to have extreme control of my emotions.  I probably only cry a couple of times a year (whereas a child, it was probably a couple times a week).  I hadn't cried the first time I had received the Eucharist on our anniversary, but on the first Sunday Mass together, after witnessing another woman cry, I did find myself fighting my emotions.  I received the gift of reassurance that yes, I did have a heart and yes, that heart longed for and needed Jesus.  While I was concerned that my ability to go on without the Sacraments had concerned me, what I didn't realize, until then, was how much spiritual communion did carry me through, how much the priests continuing to celebrate Mass, even without the Faithful physical present had a power to carry us.

Thank you, Lord.

The Big Book of Christians around the World Review

In a time when everyone needs to feel even more united than before, I was delighted to receive the book, “The Big Book of Christians around the World” by Sophie de Mullenheim and Solenne & Thomas.

My whole family enjoyed this book, from the age of 6 to 45, we each learned something new and different.  The book has 1-2 pages on each country with small paragraphs of facts, stories and more.  Each region has a “journal entry” written from the perspective of two children about something special that happens in that area.  While the book does a great job at highlighting unique practices in each country and region, it also does a fantastic job at showing how the Faith unites us all.  While the book says it’s “The Big Book of Christians,” I found that it was heavily focused on Catholics.  Obviously, I have no problem with that!  I did kind of think twice though about sending it to my non-Catholic Christian friends as it may be a little “too Catholic” for them.  I was happy to send it to some other families I know that share the faith and they were excited to receive it.  There was only one segment in the book that I found parental guidance was needed for.  There was a small paragraph about a robin hood type folk hero and I had a talk with my son that while giving to the poor is laudable, stealing is not Ok.  Otherwise, I found the values in the book to be part of our foundational beliefs and a great way to open all of our eyes to the beauty of our faith around the world.  Even though we are all different and may express our love for our faith differently, Jesus unites us.  What a great message for our times!



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Update

I'm sure I have a problem many people would love to have right now... I'm way busy!  What I thought would be a lull that would allow more time for projects around the house and spending more family time together with my husband has instead  become one where it seems like we are working multiple full-time jobs.  As one mom put it, "We are all in the same storm, but we are not all in the same boat.  Some of our boats have more people in them than others or are having to work from home, or having to work outside the home.  Some of us have additional stressors and some times there feels like a giant hole in the boat."  So true.

I had originally lost a lot of work at the beginning of this crisis, but now I'm getting a decent amount of it back.  Add on the change in situation where my husband is at home and my hours and flexibility have changed.  Moreover, my sister brought a great blessing to us in recruiting me to teach classes online, and I now have lesson planning and trying to fit in more and more classes.  (It originally was helping out with grocery money and now it has taken off and I kind of feel pressured into doing more because I keep getting requests to teach more classes.)

As my husband said, "It's not really like we are working from home, it's more like we are sleeping at the office."  Add on my husband and I trying to split task-mastering our son into his schoolwork (which he has a fair bit of) and I almost feel like homeschooling him would be easier than this online hybrid we are navigating.

At one point I also had to remind my husband that I'm used to having "pleasant" coworkers, so it would be appreciated if he could try to attempt to be friendly throughout the day.  He took my feedback and adjusted accordingly.

Navigating how we do things is also difficult.  I can't go into too many specifics, but I've had to draw lines for some people.  No, I'm not entering your car in a busy parking lot to see your pet.  No, I don't want to be in a small room with you when you just came from a hot spot area (apparently a lot of people are still traveling around the country).  Fortunately, I haven't seen any cases that have looked like coronavirus in pets, but it sounds like that may be something we need to keep our eyes out for.  It's a strange world and a strange time.  A lot of people are talking a lot more on the phone with me- even my son's specialist doctor who always rushes when we are in for appointments seemed thirsty for conversation.  He wanted to talk about wearing a bike helmet, COVID and more when we just wanted to hear from him whether my son's tonsils are ok (they are).

Hopefully I'll get back into blogging soon, but right now my family is busy praying and trying to hold it together.  In some ways it reminds me of initiation when I was on my varsity team in college.  It was something that involved spray painting from a river/bay.  As we were working on our "project" we realized that the boat we were in had a leak, at the same time a police officer above was alarmed by our noise and then looked down, "Oh, just spray-painting, carry on then."  He knew our graffiti was good-natured.
 Yep- we will all just carry on and when you have a hole in your boat, teamwork help gets you through.