Evangelizing as a Lay Person

 An acquaintance of mine was talking with some friends and a priest.  He lamented that the priest gets to evangelize, but Lay people really don't.  He thought that lay people evangelizing meant pointing out to other people how their lives are less than Catholic.

I became rather passionate about his misunderstanding and said, "What?  There are so many ways to evangelize!  Just living joyfully in this broken world is evangelization in itself."

I tried to explain how I work in a very secular world.  I don't even know of any other Catholics that I work with.  I don't shout from the rooftops I'm Catholic, but I don't hide it either.  As a matter of fact, most people have probably figured out that I'm Catholic from a silent practice I do.

In the Workplace (and the rest of my life as well)

1) Before meals or snacks, whether people are present or not, I make the Sign of the Cross.

2) When someone shares a difficulty or obstacle, I ask them if they would mind if I pray for them

3) When people ask me about our adoption journey, and if we are still waiting, I share with them we have been waiting over 4 years, and that we are open to babies with difficulties, babies with Downs Syndrome, etc., and that there are SOOO many people waiting that our adoption agency has been closed to new waiting families for over 2 years.

Small things in the Real World;

1) I try to request/recommend our library purchase Catholic books (I recommend them for the online library, so it's just a couple of steps on an app, I'm sure you could do this in-person as well).  I may have already read them, but if they purchase them based on my recommendation, others will get an opportunity to read them as well.

2) When I'm on the phone, even with customer service people, etc. if an opportunity comes up to discuss prayer or faith, I will.  There was one day, where I was in a bit of a hurry and the customer service representative was polite and talkative.  One part of me just wanted to say, "Just fill my prescription."  Instead, I kept the door open and the woman told me how her mother has been sick.  I asked her what her mom's name was so we could include her in our family prayer that night.  She sounded like she teared up and was so grateful for the prayers.

3) Sometimes, it's just being open to situations that come up and just showing up as your authentic self.

4) I sometimes have to remind myself, "I have a Pro-Life magnet on the back of my car."  This reminder makes me more patient as a driver, and more likely to let people merge or behave in a more generous way while driving.  If I'm pro-Life, the message is going to be received more if I'm selfless.

5) Going along with the above...  Thanks to my Pro-Life magnet, an old coworker spotted my car and knew it was my car (I had no idea she had actually noticed my magnet, as people don't always notice those things).  She came out of the business she was in to find me because she noticed my car.  She then introduced me to someone who presented me with an opportunity.  All because I was recognized by the Magnet (and make and model) of my car.

Living an authentic Catholic life is the BEST form of evangelization, I sometimes think.  Of course I try to do other Works of Charity and kindness and discipleship.  But I really think the most progress I have is just being authentic.  I will often randomly have conversations that are pro-life, pro-adoption, pro-naprotechnology, etc..  My husband wonders how these topics ever come up, but living authentically, they do and I've learned to be open, present a non-judgmental point of view and yet share my authentic Catholic values.

What suggestions do you have for evangelizing as Laity?

The wisdom of small spaces...

 ometimes, we need to be reminded of our blessings.  My husband and I moved into our starter house about 10 years ago.  It’s a pretty nice house, but not a lot of space, especially for storage, or a designated play area for our son.  I don’t think I became disenchanted by it until the pandemic when it always seems like everybody is in everybody else’s space.  I’m always telling my son to pick up toys or clear his latest project off the dinner table.  In a house of introverts, we don’t really each have our own space (or as in the case of my husband, his space for work is also the dog’s space, the space for camping gear and the coldest space in the house.  But at least it’s quiet.) Our extended family has also commented on our lack of space, but let’s just say our circumstances keep us in this space.  Most of the time, we are content with it.  But I think sometimes we forget that whatever space is a blessing if we are all together.

 

A few years ago my son commented that he wanted a bigger house.  I looked at him and said, “I’d love one too, but it costs more money.”  “Well then, get more money!” my son responded.  as if there’s an ATM that is endless.  The innocence of children…. “Well, if you want mommy to get more money, it means I’ll have to spend a lot more time working.  You will have to spend a lot more time at childcare than you already do.”  He quickly replied, “Mommy, this house is fine.”

 

My husband and I like traveling around and looking at mansions.  I never really dream of moving into a mansion (I can’t imagine cleaning one, and I don’t think I would be content with that much space).  But the other night, on a walk, I walked by some single family homes and realized something.  If we had a bigger house, we would each have our own space. 

 

I may not dream of a mansion.  But I do dream of a little den where I can retire in my favorite chair in silence and read and pray without hearing the TV or being disrupted. 

 

While initially the thought of each having our own space seemed like a dream, the flip side occurred to me.  If we eachl had our own space, being a house of introverts, I think we wouldn’t interact very much.  We wouldn’t have the same threesome we have.  While we drive each other nuts sometimes, there is joy. 

 

One time during the pandemic, I thought I lived in a musical, because my son and husband were randomly breaking into song all the time.  Sometimes, it was a bit much.  Trying to work and focus with virtual school in the background and the cat chasing the dog and everything going on at once would be a challenge for anyone.

 

We have a unity.  Everyone has different circumstances (I don’t begrudge anyone with a larger house).  But, I remembered how God provides us with the right blessings for our station in life.  If my son not having a designated play space makes me more likely to come over and play a game of chess with him,  or more likely to have him come over and see me reading and ask me to read to him, I’m happy to live in an open-floor plan, no private space house.  This is where God put us and I rejoice in his wisdom.

The value of curiosity....

 The old expression, "curiosity killed the cat" definitely has its place.  I see many of my patients who get in trouble from being overly curious.  There is obviously also a spiritual hazard in being the wrong kind of curious - gossip, judging others, etc..  Curiosity in some circumstances can be a gift.

I have benefited greatly from someone's curiosity.  Without trying to get too much into my history, (but enough so this will be understood) I was in very close proximity to a predator.  This predator who caused misery for many girls and young women definitely had evil at work in his life.  Though my interactions with this person were 20 years ago, I have been working on processing the feelings the past couple of years.  Dealing with fear, betrayal and also not quite remembering what happened during that time of my life (I was on medication that actually messed with memory back then), I turned to prayer.  I also felt confused and maybe a little bit of guilt, that these others experienced such horrible things and I was given the grace to keep my childhood innocence.

As time has gone on and I've processed more, I realized something.  The sports trainer who was attached to my team ALWAYS was at my appointments.  He was a fairly big guy who later on joined the military.  I reached out to him because I really felt I needed to say thank you.  I asked him if he remembered always being at my medical appointments and he said, "Yes, I always tried to, not because I suspected anything, which I feel awful I didn't and could have done something, but because I was curious and wanted to learn."

His innocent curiosity about medicine is most likely what saved me from horrible violations.  His presence  provided me protection I didn't even know I needed.  I am truly grateful.  I also have to think the Holy Spirit had something to do with his curiosity and his call to be present.

So remember, while curiosity can get you into trouble; it can keep others out of it.  If the Holy Spirit is prompting you to be curious, follow that prompt.  You may not ever know why, but curiosity and being present can be great gifts.

A Catholic Womans Guide To Relationships

I am putting together a care package for a friend and was torn on whether or not to send "A Catholic Woman's Guide To Relationships" that I had received.  Written by Rose Sweet, this compact book has just been a great companion, and I don't want to give it away!  

Most likely I will end up buying my own copy, because the virtue of charity and letting it be shared is greater than my possessiveness.  This book is easy to read, has great tips and is the nice size to fit into a purse.  I often took it with me to Mass to read prior to the service.  I used the humility prayer as a bookmark and those two forces together were helpful in my spiritual growth.

Rose Sweet writes with wisdom, humor and humility.  She uses personal stories to illustrate points.

There is a table of contents, but I would say the book is not a reference book, it's best to be read in order.  It is composed of 6 parts which are rather sequential.  Nevertheless, I could probably use another go around on the "listening" section.

Standing at the Door- entering the interior world, exploring the mystery and following the master

Listening- learning to listen, hearing with the heart, listening in silence

Leading- understanding your role, using your gifts, letting them fall

Loving- being a gift, adjusting your expectations, respecting their freedom

Letting Go- facing your fears, releasing control, learning to trust

Sitting at the Fire- releasing shame, seeking forgiveness, letting God lead

I thoroughly enjoyed this book and look forward to buying another copy to read again.

“I am a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for us to earn fees by linking to Amazon.com and affiliated sites.”

Something to be aware of...

 The uncertainty of life, especially with the delta variant has been affecting everyone.

I was talking with a friend of a friend the other day and she was very upset with her veterinarian.  I also have a friend that I talked to as well who expressed frustration with their veterinarian.  I could understand where both were coming from, and there was a myriad of issues.  But some of the issues they had are some many of my clients have as well.  It is difficult to get a hold of a veterinarian now.  One clinic I know of only has three phone lines.  With everything being done over the phone; checking in, checking out, picking up prescriptions, scheduling appointments and trying to go over exam findings, treatment, cost, etc., three phone lines are not enough.  In some circumstances, veterinarians actually go out to the car to talk to people because they could wait for a phone line to open up for 20 minutes or more.  This can make us late for all of our future appointments, besides being frustrating for everyone.

Not only did many people adopt pets during the pandemic, there are a LOT of new pet owners.  People who need help talking through the basic things most experienced pet owners already know.  Things such as, behavior, nutrition, what is normal vs. abnormal behavior.  Sometimes, to do a thorough job, I find myself spending 40 minutes or more talking to people (which is just not realistic when appt times are 20-30 minutes long).

More people are spending more time with their pets and they are noticing more things.  The occasional cough you've been noticing for the past 2-3 years becomes more problematic when you are spending all your time with your pet.  What seemed like the pet coughing once a day may be noticed occurring multiple times an hour.  Add to that all the preventative care and surgeries that were delayed from earlier in the pandemic and you have some very busy veterinary offices.

Emergency rooms across the country are actually closing to new emergencies.  One emergency room I called to transfer a patient actually could not pick up the phone because they were too busy.

This is occurring across the country, and some clinics are scheduling surgeries into October and November.  It's kind of crazy that, at the 12-week puppy visits, I'm telling people to schedule their spay/neuter so we can still do it around 6 months of age.

Add to the above stresses, the workplace shortage is a real thing.  Many clinics are having trouble finding adequate, let alone trained staff.  This is not the time in a stressful environment to be training newbies, but we have to, if we are lucky to find an assistant or veterinary nurse to help.  When I have plenty of staff, I can be very efficient, and work with multiple clients at once.  When I am short-staffed, I can run an hour or more behind by trying to be all things to all people.  While I have no problem doing clerical or technical things (even though most nurses are better than I am at drawing blood); this is not the most efficient use of my time.

In addition, there has been an ongoing mental health crisis in veterinary medicine that many people are unaware of.  We as a profession are trying to figure out why.  Whether it's the people who are attracted to veterinary medicine, the demands of the job, the stress of sky-rocketing student loans greater than human medical students with less professional compensation or the easy access to drugs; we haven't pinpointed it yet.  One study looked at obituaries over 15 years of veterinarians and found that 10% died due to suicide.

We as a profession sometimes have difficulty with setting boundaries.  I told the friend of a friend that while her old veterinarian was happy to come to her home and go out of her way to help her (something that I, in my past have also done), it is not a normal expectation that a veterinarian does that, or is available 24/7.  For our mental health, we need time off, we need boundaries and we need people to understand what is and is not a reasonable expectation.

It is reasonable to expect us to be compassionate.  We take an
oath, we are a profession, not just something we show up and get a paycheck.  We also are imperfect people.  People who are trying to navigate this mess in the same storm as everyone else.  People who sometimes need to say, "No".  "No," I don't want to work another day where I had a 12 hour shift and because of lack of time to drink water and time in general, I haven't been able to get to the restroom for a break or it's been 8 hours since I ate something.  "No," your dog who has been vomiting for 5 days and you haven't contacted us is now a problem for you and you want me to miss my family's weekly pizza and a movie night, rather than go to the ER.

So, just think about these things the next time you get frustrated with someone saying no (and this goes for any profession, including service people and retail workers).  While it may be inconvenient and irritating to you, it could be someone just trying to manage in this crazy world.

Theology of The Home 1 and 2 and Daily Planner

I love the Theology of the Home, Book 1 and 2, that I received, as well as the daily planner.  Theology of the Home, Book 1 is a great "coffee table book" with wonderful pictures and wonderful messages about establishing and growing theology in your home.  Book 2 was more about Catholic feminism and the feminine genius.  I loved how it had examples of women who are at different phases in their life and have different roles in motherhood.  Whether it be a stay at home mom, a part-time or full-time work outside the home mom, an empty nester mom or a single layperson, it seemed to have a little something for everyone.

With beautiful images that could match trendy magazines, this book is great for Catholic women.  While it is visually appealing, it discusses placing importance on God first, and the household will follow.  With various vignettes and short chapters, this book can be read a little at a time.  You don't need a great chunk of time to get a little out of it each day.  This book is a mix of Catholic feminism (definitely different from secular feminism), theology and artistry (great images worthy of any coffee table).

There are lots of great quotes in this book.  One of them that I thought was representative was, "The modern response to this story of dissatisfaction has been that we’ve valued home too much and at too great an expense.  What this diagnosis fails to see is that when home feels like a prison, it’s not because we’ve given it too much importance but because we’ve given it far too little.”

This was a great book and I am actually reluctant to loan it to others because I want to keep it for myself...  I have given additional copies as a gift, and I think it would be great for a new mom or new wife.  I gave it to my Mom and it almost brought me to tears because I see how in living her motherhood, she helped instill in me greater Catholic values than I had realized.





“I am a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for us to earn fees by linking to Amazon.com and affiliated sites.”

Upcoming Feast Day!

 What do a beautiful woman who tried to make herself ugly, a poor humble friar, a woman who in loose terms, told the Pope to "man up", a 24 year old handsome young man and a extremely talented artist whose work appears in most major art museums with images of the Rosary and a Saint known as the “Dumb ox” who is a brilliant Doctor of The Church have in common?

Here are some more hints to the question:

1) The group they belong to are well known for their love of wine from the very beginning.  It is said they learned to drink deep from the wine of God’s Word.

 
2) Founded December 22, 1216.  They’ve been around for over 800 years

3) Legend has it that the founder's mother (who is a Blessed) had a dream about a dog leaping from her womb with a torch in its mouth and spreading fire to the Earth.  This may be one of the reasons this group is sometimes referred to as the "Hounds of The Lord"

4) The group is known as the "Order of Preachers"

Why, they are Dominicans of course!  Their names in order of the above description include: St. Rose of Lima, St. Martin dePorres, Blessed Pier Giorgio Frassati, St. Catherine of Siena and Blessed Fra Angelico and St. Thomas Aquinas.  There are well over 300 Saints and Blesseds that belong to the Dominican order. 
 

Who was St. Dominic and how is he relevant today?  Well, I will give you a layperson's "Readers Digest" version of his story.  He was born in the middle ages, in times of great turmoil, when Spain and Europe were being overtaken and there were wars and more wars between Christian Europe and Muslims, the time known as the Crusades.

St. Dominic didn't fight those battles though.  Instead, he fought against the Albigensian heresy.   Now the following is an oversimplification,  but let me go ahead and phrase it in the following way.  The Albigensian heretics were people who thought: "Spirit good, body bad."  While you can probably figure out that there are some religious groups today that believe that, the ones who think the body is where all sin comes from and people don't have control over what their body does, etc. as well as those who rationalize that whatever the body does/decisions it makes it doesn't matter because the spirit is good and has no control over the body (could be a comparison to some New Age beliefs).  Today, in our society one could argue there is another type of Albigensian heresy where instead of just the spirit mattering and not the body, the opposite is true.  Who cares about the spirit and just do what the body says because there is no spirit and we just live in the now.  Catholic teaching teaches that; Jesus came to us as divine God and Man, Son of Mary, so thus, he redeemed us both body AND soul.  This has so many implications.

St. Dominic didn't fight this heresy on the battlefield, he fought it in taverns and on the street, wandering through Europe, teaching, listening and instructing and he calls his followers to do the same.  Dominicans search for Truth, they search by academic study, conversation and more.  Their 4 pillars include Prayer, Common Life, Study and Preaching and this is how they divide their days.  Dominicans can be Priests, Sisters, Friars and Lay people (meaning just like you and me, I am a Lay Dominican, as a matter of fact).

I once heard a joke where a priest said he wanted to "live like a Jesuit and die like a Dominican".  Well, I won't comment on the Jesuit part, but the Dominican part may be because the Dominicans, "look after their own" and many others of course.  A Dominican charism is to daily pray for their deceased Dominicans and St. Dominic actually told his friars that he would "do far more for them when he died than he did when he was alive."  There are MANY wonderful books much more scholarly than I am who share oodles of information about St. Dominic.  Please consider reading them.  There's also a great podcast on Catholic Answers Focus which is a great interview with Kevin Vost, a Dominican biographer.    

Hopefully this blog has lit a small fire to your desire to learn more about St. Dominic and Dominicans!  Happy Feast of St. Dominic!