What I'm Reading Now

I read a fairly eclectic mix of books.  Fiction, non-fiction, spiritual.  I'm in the middle of several right now.  Whenever I see an interesting book referred to, I add it to my library "Wish List".  I think I'm near 1,000 on my wish list.  Not sure I'll ever be able to read them all, but keeping these books in this place has brought some new books into my life that I would've never read otherwise.

If my library doesn't have a book, I will often "request" or recommend it for purchase.  They are a pretty big library system and not all of my requests get purchased, but a fair amount do.  A while back I requested a book, Chesapeake Requiem: A Year with the Watermen of Vanishing Tangier Island.  I was excited when my library purchased it and I discovered three other people had requested it too.  I was on the waitlist and then I got the book and started reading, along with the 5 other books I'm currently in the middle of.

Then the news of Hurricane Florence came and there was an article in a major newspaper interviewing the author of Chesapeake Requiem.  My copy that I had checked out was about ready to expire (the library gives me 21 days to read a book and it normally takes SEVERAL cycles for me to make it through a book).  I thought, "no problem, I'll put it on hold again."  Apparently I wasn't the only person who had read the newspaper article.  The book that I had started reading and was getting into now had 150 people ahead of me on the waiting list.  I told my husband of my angst.  "By the time I get the book back, I will have totally forgotten what I read!"

I worked diligently to read it at every chance I got and as it was really rather engaging and interesting, I made it through.  It's a non-fiction book about a rather liberal journalist who lives on a VERY conservative, dry island where pretty much everyone can trace their family back to a guy who lived there pre-revolution.  With facts about crabbing, boating and small-town life and politics mixed in with the global warming debate (it's not a debate for the journalist, but he is respectful of the islanders having a different view) and personal stories, it was a very engaging read.  I think one thing I enjoyed about it was the fact the journalist and islanders did co-exist and become friends, a nice reminder in this divisive time that there is co-existence possible with polar opposite views.

I've also been getting into some "mystery" and "spy" historical fiction books.  The World War II time period has always fascinated my sister and me and I've been enjoying the Maggie Hope Mysteries.  I don't have a whole lot of time for reading, but I try to squeeze a few minutes here and there, whether I'm in the carpool line or waking up a little earlier in the morning or staying up a little bit late, I get to step outside of my life for just a little bit (and sometimes realize just how blessed I am).  I have way more books on my wish list than I probably will ever be able to get through but I definitely have some good reading to look forward to.





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Don't Discourage the Growl

I was doing an exam on a dog today and it was a little nervous.  It had been a street dog for a little bit and so it had some anxiety about being in a vet's office.  It probably didn't help that I had stress pheromones all over because I had just rushed to pick up my son from the school nurse's office for a cough that may have been more homesickness than bad illness, but I digress.

The owner scolded the dog for growling.  I sat back, moved slow and said, "Please don't discourage him from growling."  She looked a little shocked.  She was a nice person who just wanted her dog to behave nicely.  I told her, "It's perfectly acceptable he's growling, he's obviously a little anxious and I don't blame him.  He's just letting me know he's not loving it here."  She looked puzzled.

"What he's doing is kind of giving me the doggy middle finger.  I'm fine with that.  I'll take the middle finger any day over a bite."  The owner nodded, yep, that made sense.  I told her, "it's kind of like when you tell a child, 'use your words'.  A growl is him just using his words.  If you take that away, he may just suddenly bite because you've taken away his ability to communicate."

We then went on to discuss that sometimes, especially with children, a growl is very effective to get them to stop doing something that the dog doesn't like or is uncomfortable.

I recalled a story from several years ago where I was in an exam room with a woman and her child.  The woman asked me for a medication or a means to get the dog to stop growling.  In the few minutes I was in the exam room, I noticed the child maltreating the dog, being obnoxious, pulling it's tail and climbing all over it and the dog was clearly distressed.

I don't remember exactly how I phrased it, I believe it was blunt, but diplomatic (she took it well), "Excuse me ma'am, the dog is not the one with the problem, it's your child.  If your child did what she is doing to most dogs, they'd bite.  They wouldn't tolerate that.  You are lucky your dog is only growling."  The woman realized that she was lucky and that the child should respect the dog and the dog's space.  I also gave her info to a website I like; Liam J Perk Foundation which talks about dogs, children and stress.  Oftentimes, I see "cute" pictures on Facebook that to a trained eye looks like the dog is really stressed and is trying to override it's desire to fight or flight.  Most dogs are way more patient and forgiving of personal space issues than people.

My tech told me after the visit, "You're not the only vet I've heard who has said, "Give me a middle finger over a dog bite any day!"  She then told me I should cross-stitch it on a pillow.  Instead, I'll just share this on the blog...

As the entire East Coast waits...

My family and I don't live on the coast, but we live near enough the coast that we do get hurricanes, or at least their leftovers.  My husband proposed to me on a weekend after the remnants of a hurricane had blown through and there was actually enough wind to fly a kite.  We've seen some serious damage and the town that we got married in actually has high water marks from each hurricane that rolls through.  There's an anticipation, a level of excitement and a level of fear.

In a location where people crowd the grocery stores if we are just going to get an inch of snow, I'm sure there will be a lot of people grocery shopping at the last minute.  My husband and I are trying to plan ahead.  We were supposed to go camping this weekend.  My son was sad when we told him it wasn't going to happen.  Don't want to be caught in the mountains in torrential rain, or even worse, in a valley with flooding.

As I saw my son's sadness coming on I said, "How about we camp in the basement?"  He thought this was a great idea and is looking forward to it.  Hopefully he won't end up liking camping in the basement more than the real outdoors!

We've already had so much rain in our area that everything is getting flooded even before Florence comes through.  My neighbor found some baby rabbits that had gotten flooded out of their burrow.  I helped her keep them warm and found a wildlife rehabilitation facility to take them to so they might have a chance.

With baby rabbits, it's often best to leave them alone.  That is what I told my neighbor to do the first night.  If they smell like humans; the mother will abandon them.  The mothers don't stay with their young and only nurse them for about 5 minutes a day.  My neighbor and I were confused that the mother rabbit would make her burrow in a yard where a dog rambles about 3 times a day.  Furthermore, it was a location that floods easily.  She remarked about Darwin, "survival of the fittest".  I remarked that there's a reason rabbits breed like rabbits.  We weren't really laughing.  We were sad, but gallows humor sometimes suffices when there's not much to do.

The rehab people (these are the people who all they do is rehab wildlife) said they've been getting a lot of baby bunnies.  The outlook is not good, but it's worth a try.  When things get dire, the best you can do is wait, pray and remember, it will all eventually work out as part of God's plan.  Perhaps with some pain, suffering and unexplainable stuff, but as with everything, good can come, even in the face of destruction.

Keep your eyes out...

Look out tomorrow, Thursday September 6th for my catholicmom.com post regarding talking to my son about the current crisis in the church.  Obviously these discussions need to be age-appropriate but I would love for people to comment or give tips on how they talk about difficult situations with their kids.

Also, check out some of the other catholicmom.com posts, they have some very talented contributing writers!

Mass

My son has historically been a pretty good boy at Mass, especially for a kid who quite often doesn't have the attention span to sit down and watch a TV show or movie.  He's great at focusing on books and sports, but other things, well, it's not surprising that he didn't fall far from the tree with a mommy who has to be in motion to stay concentrated...

Over this summer we have had more struggles with him behaving at Mass.  Whether it's him trying to exert control, just all the changes in routines, or what, I don't know.  At some points with what he says, I'm worried he's a budding Atheist.  But then I remind myself he's just 5 and he'll use any excuse he can come up with to get his way.

My husband and I tried to do everything we could think of to get him to behave.  Sitting up front was helpful for a while, but then he just started misbehaving sitting up front, which isn't helpful for ANYONE at Mass.  Then if he misbehaved we told him we had to sit in back.  That doesn't help either.  We know changing his schedule, like going to a later Mass or a Saturday night Mass normally didn't go well.  We gave him mercy in those situations because we knew that being tired/hungry or just off schedule isn't his fault.

Some books sometimes helped, like the book I previously reviewed here :



Some books we've gotten, such as Bibles and Mass guides used to be helpful, but have become more of a hindrance now that he wants us to read them to him during Mass.

It's sometimes hard when adults talk during Mass and my son witnesses this.  I actually once spoke to an adult about this and she was receptive, understanding it's hard to teach a kid that there are rules when other people violate them.  It's hard for me to pay attention during Mass, sometimes I have to close my eyes to focus and sometimes simple things like holding hands during the Our Father or other things distract me from prayer.  My husband and I certainly don't expect perfection from our son.  We are content if he quietly colors, sits in our lap or looks through books.

As I found Mass becoming more and more a source of tension in our family and my husband and I were both getting tired of lecturing him on Mass behavior, I took a new angle.  We got into car after Mass and my son was waiting for the lecture.  Instead, this is what I said:

"So- how would you feel if the next gift you got, I threw it away or tore it apart or broke it?"  This caught my son off-guard.  "That would be mean".  "Yep, it would be mean."

"Did you know that when you misbehave and make noise and are disruptive, that's what you are doing to us?"  He looked puzzled.  "Misbehaving in Mass isn't like when you misbehave in the grocery store.  Going to Mass isn't just something on Mommy and Daddy's to do list."  He took this in.  "It's Jesus' gift to us."  My husband went on and we discussed how being loud and disruptive takes away from everyone's gift.

Hopefully, one day he will realize what a gift Mass is for him, as well.





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