A Clothing Sale

This is actually a repost from about three years ago.  My son has long ago left his daycare, but I stay in touch with the childcare center director and she said it's still going strong, I've left a "legacy".


My mom was a wonderful PTA parent and organizer.  I was quite active in high school and even college in managing organizations and events.  In this season of my life, I have no interest.  I am already feeling stretched and overwhelmed.  My family comes first over organizations in my over-scheduled schedule.

While my son's daycare is a WONDERFUL place, they require these things called "co-op hours".  That means every month you need to put in at least 3 hours of volunteering.  My husband and I have done laundry, sold Christmas ornaments and cleaned toys to fulfill these hours.  I even have gone to watch infants for a couple hours (not really a chore, but hard to schedule).  Part of me doesn't understand how we pay the equivalent of a college education for childcare + are required to do volunteer hours.

Last month, we got a notice that somehow, we were still behind in the number of hours.  Both my husband and I are fairly proficient at math, so we couldn't figure out how we could be 6 hours behind, when we thought we were ahead.

We couldn't remember the exact punishment for falling behind on hours, but we were pretty sure it involved fines and possibly losing a spot in the daycare.

I tried to think fast of how I could come up with some volunteer hours.  Meanwhile, it's spring cleaning time and I'm trying to organize things and clean out the house.  I had previously talked with the center's director about a clothing/toy sale for kids to swap their clothes and toys for the next size up.  I e-mailed her the idea and she said, sure, go ahead, and why don't you do it 3 weeks from now?

I have now learned how to conference call (not much opportunity to do that in veterinary medicine).  I've also remembered the joys of flyers and e-mail promotion and found out many other things particular to my son's daycare.  Those days of organizing dog washes, blood drives and more are coming back to me.

Hopefully we will get plenty of toys and clothing and gear.  Hopefully, parents won't have have to buy brand new snowsuits next year and can save a little money and we can also clean out our closets.  The proceeds of the sale are going to go back to the school for enrichment activities and any leftover gear and clothing will be donated to a local pregnancy center.  I will let you know next week how it all goes.  Fortunately, there are other parents who also found they were behind on hours.  So, I have a fair number of volunteers who want to put AS MUCH time as possible into this.  Oh, and as an update.  My husband and my math skills are still fine, we had the person re-audit our hours and we were 5.5 hours ahead.  So add on this experience and we should hopefully be able to at least cruise through summer : )

I'm Sorry

“I’m sorry”

Just two words, but sometimes so hard. Lawyers often say we should not say it.  It can admit culpability.  But sometimes, that’s the point.

A lot of people struggle to say it in their relationships.  I have a few relationships where there has been hurt, but never an apology.  Some people grapple with saying it.  I’m not sure if it’s shame, or pride, or what.

Our son said the other day, “I’m tired of saying I’m sorry!  I’m not going to say it anymore.”  I explained to him that saying “sorry” is part of being human.  No matter how hard we try, we will commit errors and need to take responsibility.

Our son is approaching first grade and we are starting to catechize him about the Sacrament of Reconciliation.  I told him he needed to play quietly so I could do an Examination of Conscience before I went to Confession that evening.  He asked me what that was and I told him, “It’s where I sit down and think about all the ways I have sinned and failed.”  “Oh, I can help you with that,” he immediately answered.  I was a little concerned.

“You sometimes yell at me and tell me I’m being naughty”.  Less you think I’m someone who goes around shouting, “yelling” to my son simply means I’m saying words he doesn’t want to hear.  I thanked him for his help in finding my errors.

Sometimes people say their sorry and they don’t mean it.  They are just words to placate.  There is sometimes a difficult walk between making your child say they are sorry for something when there is no remorse.

Just like when we say the Act of Contrition, we have to recognize that we hurt a relationship.  Not that we are simply fearful of punishment but that we seek to sin no more because of love.  This is a difficult thing even for adults.

I need to remind myself when I’m teaching my son to say “I’m sorry,” that it’s not so much the words.  It is tough to say I’m sorry because it requires something much deeper than words and I’m grateful that my son seems to realize this.  I try to give him time sometimes when he is obviously not in a position to be remorseful.  “Later on, when you calm down, you need to apologize.”  I’m sorry is not a knee jerk reaction, it is a reckoning before the Cross.

May our children come to understand and appreciate the Sacrament of Reconciliation with the deep graces the Lord has given us.

That's not on our list!

In an effort to not get any more overwhelmed than we already are, my family sat down and had a family meeting before the summer began.

We went through what we wanted to do, what we didn't want to do and how we primarily wanted to spend our time.

Due to my husband's schedule and my son's school schedule, we aren't able to take vacations throughout the year.  As a veterinarian, if I wasn't my own boss, I wouldn't be able to take vacation during the summer (It's the busiest time of year and many vets have contracts that say they can't take time off between May and September).  Fortunately, I have a little flexibility.  We always end up finding ourselves overbooked though.

My husband and I put a great value on family time, and also on our son having "down" time.  One of his classmates actually participates in 4 sports at a time.  We think that we will do best as a family if he just has one organized team activity at a time.

It was interesting to see what my son said were his most important goals of the summer.  Time at home.  Time to play with his toys and maybe an occasional trip to the library or pool.  But mostly time at home.  My son had already coined his phrase, "House overwhelmed" at this time, which to him simply means he's not spending enough time at home and just wants some more chill time.


About a week after this meeting, we were getting ready to help host a barbecue for a religious order and the residents that they take care of in a nursing home.  This was for roughly 70 people.  The last time I had gone shopping for this event, I had filled the cart so much I actually had difficulty moving it.  We strongly dislike going to the Costco chaos on a Saturday, but it made sense to have the extra hands.

We woke up that Saturday morning and reminded our son we needed to go to Costco.  He was quick to point out, "That's NOT on our list!".  So apparently our family meeting had made an impact on his mind and I was happy he remembered and wanted to re-focus our family out of chaos.  I did point out for him that helping others was on our list and one Saturday morning at Costco would not ruin the whole summer.

The $1.50 12 inch hot dog, lemonade and a shared family soft serve was what we used to celebrate,  b
esides the fun we had at the barbecue the next day.  It is good to know that family meetings do matter and we can all try to hold each other accountable to keep the "House Overwhelmed" under control.  It is summer after all.

Adoption Madness 2: Party at Home Depot

As I discussed in Part 1, our adoption journey started out slow and tranquil and went into a crescendo the succeeding 3 months.

While we were doing tons of paperwork (I think our adoption To Do List had about 100 items on it) and doctors appointments and more, we were preparing for our home to be inspected.  There wasn't really a checklist for what was needed for a home inspection.  Our social worker was reassuring and said it was really nothing to worry about, and if there was something they found lacking, we would have time to correct it.

My husband and I are both fairly risk-averse and safety conscious.  We also have a friend who is a local fireman.  We have a three-story ladder for our house, a fire extinguisher in the kitchen and more smoke alarms and carbon monoxide alarms than what is necessary.  We had read that our local laws had been updated and there were a few more bells and whistles that were required; but no big deal.

I got the name of an electrician and I found new smoke alarms with a 10 year battery.  When we had gotten a new heating and air unit and new hot water heater, we had already passed a local inspection for our carbon monoxide and other detectors so we thought we were good.  Hmm.

A week or so before the home inspector came, I realized that we needed a combination smoke/fire alarm and tried to get the electrician to come in and switch them out, which we had him scheduled for, but inclement weather interfered.  Rather than re-schedule the home inspection, the inspector said she'd come anyways because she was sure she'd find some other violations.  That just made me quake in my heels.

So ultimately after 3 trips from the electrician, multiple purchases from Home Depot and Amazon and a consultation with a friend who is a fireman we made some progress.  We also had multiple communications with the home inspector which were confusing (they had just changed the laws and regulations in our county regarding what was required and that home inspectors were now responsible for fire inspections, something the firemen used to be responsible for).  The electrician who was a kind man figured out exactly what I needed to get.  It was not easily found online.  He stayed and waited for me to make a quick run to Home Depot (all during this time I was actually supposed to be listening to a lecture for continuing education).  I went to Home Depot and could not find what I needed.  I didn't understand why they would be selling products that weren't "up to code" in the first place.  I found a Home Depot team member and asked for assistance.  The electrician had given me a specific model number.  The Home Depot member then suggested one of the previous detectors we had purchased.  In frustration, I told him how that hadn't passed inspection.  He then said, "Oh- you have an inspector- then this what you need."  As he showed me the small box tucked on the lowest shelf in the back, I purchased 7.  Suddenly there were about 5 other people who came over and also asked if this was the model that would pass inspection.  Who knew that I would start a "party" at Home Depot to find the right device...

This might be the day...

Earlier this week, my husband and I were awoken in the middle of the night by our cat.  This is not that unusual, considering our cat is almost 20 and has some eclectic habits.

As she jumped on our bed, after loudly meowing throughout the house, (she's deaf, so it's a really loud Meow) my husband remembered he forgot to fill her water.

Now, you should know that she always has access to water and up to about the past 6 months, drinking the dog's water out of his bowl was just fine for her.  Her kidney disease worsened a little bit (I already told you she's almost 20).  So in an effort to get her to drink more water, I've given her her own teacup that I put fresh cold filtered water in.  My husband is normally the last to bed, so he checks to see if it needs to be refreshed before bedtime.  The last time he forgot to do this, she jumped on our bed and let him know her displeasure by jumping over him and drinking from his bedside water.

So as she jumped into bed, my husband covered his water and even though she's deaf, we still both yelled at her in the haze of 2 AM.  She bopped down right between us and had a seizure.  She had full on convulsions that were unmistakeable.  She hobbled out of our bed and then walked around like she was drunk.  I turned to my husband and said, "yep, that was a seizure, I'm awake, right, that just happened?"  My husband who wakes up a little faster than I do verified this was not a dream.  As I lay anxiously in bed thinking with my doctor mind that this meant that our cat most likely had a brain tumor, our cat had another seizure episode.  I turned to my husband wearily and said, "Today might be the day."  Meaning that we may have to make the decision to euthanize.  I took Duchess into our guest room so I could monitor her and hopefully my husband could get some rest.

I know what seizures look like.  I've treated probably close to a thousand of them in my career.  There is definitely something scary and alarming about them when they happen in your own pet.  If I wasn't a veterinarian, I would have taken our kitty to the ER, but I knew that I was competent at monitoring her.  If she continued to have seizures, I would take her in and I'd have to get her started on some medication most likely.

In an almost 20 year old cat, even if my family had all the money in the world, we wouldn't get an MRI and have brain surgery or radiation therapy for her.  I know these are options and some of my patients have had these performed.  If she was 8 or 10 or maybe even 12, I think this would be a route to consider, but knowing how she hates hospital settings and this may still not be what terminates her life, my husband and I agree that if her quality of life is still good, we will try medical therapy, make her comfortable and see how things go.

We had already had a playdate scheduled that morning and Duchess did not have any more seizures.  She was pretty sedate and just slept a lot, which isn't atypical for a 20 year old cat.  I monitored her and made sure she had plenty of water.  My poor husband asked if dehydration from not having her filtered cold water could have caused her problem.  I reassured him he had no reason to feel guilty and that this was unlikely.  Her deafness and whining in the middle of the night (things that are typical in older kitties) were most likely early signs in retrospect.

So as I was emotional and trying to reconcile "doctor" with "mom" 4 kids came over to our house.  Two of them were my sons age and then a 3 year old and a baby.  All of them loved cats and dogs and didn't have one of their own.

Our geriatric, epileptic cat came out of her hiding place and rubbed up and purred and let those kids love on her more than most normal cats would.  Ok, I thought, maybe today is not going to be the day and this cat is just adding a new disease to her repertoire.  As if to taunt me, she also tried to get into the kids' macaroni and cheese when they left the table.  Yep, I had to keep a check on how upset and frustrated I got.  If I didn't know better, I'd think she faked her seizures for a little sympathy.

Just as I was becoming less afraid that her time was near, my husband commented that she was walking funny.  I told him, "well, she's got arthritis."  "No," he told me, "she's hobbling and limping like she broke her leg."  Then I witnessed it.  She was neurologic.  If she had a brain tumor, and she didn't have periods where she was acting normal, we could be near the end.

My husband and I had always agreed that we would give Duchess a milkshake before "the end".  I told my husband that night to please make her a milkshake.  My husband makes good milkshakes and he used to make them all the time before our son was born.  Duchess used to try to steal them all the time.  It was during this time that my husband truly realized her acrobatic and gymnastic abilities.  He had always thought cats didn't have a vertical leap.  Then he decided that Michael Jordan didn't have anything on Duchess.  My husband's milkshakes are probably one of her favorite things, besides lobster bisque.

My husband looked at me and asked me a couple of time if I seriously wanted her to have a milkshake.  I told him yes, just a small one and I promised I would do clean up duty if it unsettled her stomach.  He was sweet and then said, "But I don't want to give her any ideas.  I don't want her to think because she's getting this milkshake she can just go and die on us!"

My son liked that he was getting a milkshake out of this deal but was seriously perplexed that we were willingly giving the cat one.  He asked three times, "Seriously?  Seriously? Seriously, you are giving her a milkshake?"

I think this kind of brought it home for my husband that we could be near the end.  She kind of looked at me a couple of times as I put the small teacup in front of her as to what she had done to get this.  She enjoyed it though and she licked the cup clean.

She had a good evening and this morning my husband couldn't find her.  I couldn't find her either.  Then I looked up and she had somehow jumped 6 feet up on to the top of my husband's dresser.  Not only had she done that but she had also knocked down a heavy ceramic cup that was probably at least 1/6 of her weight.  She decimated the cup.  She looked at me and it was like she was saying, "What are you looking at?  Do you really think I'm going to die on you.  Well I ain't dead yet and leave me alone."

Yep, that's the feisty spirit I know.  She is good at reminding us that you can't predict what's going to happen and a little spirit and spunk means a lot.  Every day is a gift.  If a little macaroni and cheese gets stolen or something gets broken, well what does that matter when you got a life to live.

Chick Fil-A Dress Like A Cow Day is Tuesday, July 9th

Just in case you haven't heard, today, Tuesday, July 9th is Chick Fil-A's annual "Dress Like A Cow Day".  If you show up at any Chick Fil-A with any type of cow clothing or a mask or tail anything showing your bovine aptitude, you will receive a free entree.  My son and I did this last year and I remembered to keep our "Moo Masks" safe just for this "holiday".  I made the masks easily with crayons, a papers plate and a disposable fork and crayons.  I'm not a very good artist, but it does the job!

My son has a great time, the place is crowded (but fun).  Everyone's in a pretty good mood because really- who doesn't like free food?  Especially good food from Chick Fil-A?  I might even splurge and purchase one of their lemonades tomorrow (that sugary goodness is sure to make me run 4 extra miles to burn it off), but another not as well known fact about Chick-Fil A is, they refill your drink for free!


I will have to see if my son keeps the book in the Kids Meal that he gets, or if he trades it for an ice cream cone (another not as well known fact- you can trade the toy/book in the kids meal for an ice cream cone).  He always used to pick the book, but with the weather around here in the 90's lately- I think he might go for the ice cream cone.
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Happy 4th of July!

Happy 4th of July!

I hope you have a restful, fun and family-filled 4th of July.  From barbecues to parades to just spending time with the family, may God Bless you and your loved ones.

The more research I do about history, the more I feel like I'm discovering two things- the Founding Fathers were imperfect, just like we are today, and America is Blessed.  God did some amazing stuff during the Revolutionary War, because when you read about the amazing "God-incidences" as I see them (people making decisions that were out of character, even a hurricane that was perfectly timed), I'm kind of left thinking- there was a reason....  Let's all do our best to share our blessings with others and be grateful for the blessings we have.

God Bless America!

Some books I've been reading lately...

This should probably be entitled, "books that I'm taking an inordinate amount of time to read."    My DVR is full of shows I haven't gotten to, my iPad is full of books I've started or wanted to finish reading.  It takes me a while to read books.  I do 5 minutes here, 3 minutes here.  When I'm really into the book, I might stay up a little later or try to squeeze a little time in when I'm waiting to pick up my kid for school.  Where ever I can get the time, I squeeze it in.  I used to be an avid reader.  Then Vet school happened.  As I've discussed previously, Vet school cured me of wanting to read for pleasure for several years.  The funny thing is I ran into someone recently who went to the same Vet school I did, twenty years prior to when I graduated.  Somehow the topic came up about just starting to read for pleasure (somehow this topic came up when we were discussing angora goats and knitting- who knew!).  She laughed as I shared it took me about 5 years to start reading again.  We were discussing that our alma mater is now revising the curriculum for "quality of life" for the students.  We then started commiserating about teachers- teachers who would be fired for sure in today's "Me Too" movement and because of unacceptable behavior that as we started to remember, we agreed that it's good that God gives us memory loss.

Anyways, I have been reading some interesting books lately.  I kind of like historical fiction and non-fiction.  After reading,  Bunker Hill: A City, A Siege, A Revolution by Nathaniel Philbrick, I decided to read "In the Hurricanes Eye".  This historian's take on Bunker Hill was fascinating and had some information, especially about Dr. Warren and Mercy Warren I had not heard before.  It made me want to read another book and learn even more.  My husband and I (and even our 5 year old) have a fascination with history and especially during this time period.  I had always thought about the battle of Yorktown being fought with trenches and on land, but the French Navy really kind of won the war for us.  The Museum at Yorktown and the National Park Service are now putting more emphasis on this fact.  For a woman who grew up in a time when "French Fries" were briefly "Freedom Fries" and traveled Great Britain and France where the museums mostly spoke about their respective contributions with a small tidbit, "oh yeah, the Americans fought in the Second World War too"; it was a good reminder that we all kind of help each other get where we are.



I'm not exactly sure how I first got interested in the book Lilac Girls, but it was quite intriguing and gave me a fresh look at sisterhood, survival and some of the atrocities of the Holocaust in a different way because the characters were well-developed and it was easier to see yourself in their roles.  The author had gone on a tour of a historic home in Connecticut and then delved deeper into the family history.  The first story takes place during the Second World War.  The second story takes place during World War One and primarily in the backdrop of the Russian Revolution.  Between Russian nobility, kidnapping, friendship and more, it's a captivating book that kept me wanting more and helped me relate to people I wouldn't have thought I could have.  Both of Martha Hall Kelly's books are for mature readers, there's not really much adult material per say, but let's just say war isn't pretty.  Nothing gory, but there were some parts that I kind of chose to skim over because I didn't really need to try to visualize those pieces.

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