"Mommy, How's Your Bucket?"

 It had been a long week...  My son had heard me talking with my husband about how I was doing.  How the leaky, unable to move faucet was putting a hole in my bucket.  How a lot of different frustrations, such as going to the DMV and waiting with non-socially distanced people and a disinterested bureaucrat had put another hole in my bucket.  How my bucket was about ready to tip over because I came home to find everything I had just tidied up the day before out across our floor again.

In our house we use the "bucket" analogy which I believe we read about in Gary Chapman's "5 Love Languages book".  Everyone has a "bucket". This is kind of your reservoir of patience, love and happiness.  My son realizes annoying or hurtful things empty your bucket, while things that give you joy fill your bucket.  He realizes if mommy has an empty bucket it is probably time to either give me some space, give me a hug, or let me go for a walk before he asks for help with something.  I have also found if I'm going to respond in impatience to any one in my family, I can just say, "I have an empty bucket" and they get the message.

At the end of this long week, my husband and I were trying to invest in my son's "bucket" by doing a family tickle war.  My son's language is touch, so tickling or cuddling fills his bucket.  My husband has a pretty small bucket to fill, so I guess I'm kind of lucky on that front; however, his bucket is only filled by acts of service, like me doing housework (definitely not bucket-filling for me).  We hadn't recently talked about all this, but as our tickle war was getting ready to start, my son asked me, "Mommy, how's your bucket?".  I smiled and looked at him.  "My bucket is full- playing with you today, snuggling with you this morning and taking this time together as a family has helped me fill my bucket today, thank you."  My son smiled and said, "I'm so happy you are happy."  I hadn't really realized that my son had been paying attention to all the times my husband and I have referenced the bucket but my son had picked up on it.  Sometimes we need to pay attention to our buckets.  With a full bucket, it overflows into those around us.  While it's not a analogy that uses a lot of terms of faith, I think it's a great way to explain taking care of yourself and others to kids.