Maybe it's because of the intensity and stress of the election, or maybe because I have adapted a simpler lifestyle, or maybe it's because last Christmas, we overindulged our son and vow not to do so this year. I don't know what it is, but this Christmas, I just don't feel as stressed.
I started planning for Christmas back in July- presents I was going to make, shopping sales for things for our son, what gifts I was getting for people and shopping sales. I'm sure this all contributed to less stress this season, but I don't think that's the big reason. Everything is maybe a little more in perspective for me this year. I'm trying to turn over a new leaf about not stressing about things and not worrying about all the things I'm not.
I'm not the Martha Stewart of Housekeeping. I like a clean house, but it's probably never going to meet some people's standards. But you know what? That's okay. I was talking with an old friend this week who was stressing about all the things she's not. I told her I had an earlier crisis this year, upset about what someone else thought of me. Then I told her, after crying a little, I sat in bed and told my husband, " You know what? I'm freaking awesome!"
Yes, it was not a humble comment, but I think that myself, like many women focus on the things we aren't. The way we fail. The way we can't keep all the balls bouncing in the air. As a small business owner, veterinarian, Lay Dominican, friend, family member and active member of my Church, and let's not forget my most important roles as wife and mother, I do a decent job. I won't be getting an award for anything and I'm okay with that.
At the end of my life, I'm not going to look back and say, "I wish I would have spent more time cleaning," or "I wish I would have made Pinterest-perfect cookies." I will look back and say, "I'm glad I sat at the beginning and the end of the day admiring the majesty of a Christmas Tree with my son and reading to him. While I'm not using the above to be an excuse for all the things I can improve, (rest assured, I still carry a list with me of ways in my life I could get better and my husband may periodically remind me of some of them). But instead of focusing on what I'm not, as this "Year of Mercy" has ended and we are moving into a New Year, I'll give a little mercy to myself and try to give more to others. We are never enough, we are never perfect enough, that's why we are reminded that we NEED God, because we aren't enough on our own. The next time you are feeling overwhelmed, remember, you are Freaking Awesome because He is BEYOND Awesome. God has given us the gift of His Son. This time that we celebrate this year and through Him who strengthens us, we may be "Enough" in Him. Have a Happy, Peaceful Advent.