Tuesday, December 20, 2016

Giving up and Letting go

The above title may seem like it goes along more with Lent than with Advent.

There are some similarities and disparities between the two.  They are both a preparation time for a celebration of a Holy Event.  The Son of God being born into our world and then being crucified and dying for our sins so we can be born again through Him.  He's kind of a big deal.  It is easy to focus on other things though at this time.

I have found myself trying to simplify things.  The amount of baking, cleaning, shopping and basically worrying about everything being perfect.  It's not going to be perfect.  I'm going to let that go.  I may not get 5 different kinds of wonderful baked goods out to the people I thought I would- I will let that go too.  Most people who truly care about me and I truly care about are happy to have one well-baked, delicious goodie, then to know that I stayed up all night cursing my KitchenAid.  Priorities...  Another mom in my son's class was happy to hear me say, "Really, it's not worth pulling an all-nighter to get baked goods for the teachers on the same day- let's put a basket out and everyone just brings in baked goods when they want to- the holiday will just stretch out the giving."  Not only is my old body getting too old for all nighters, I'm realizing more what really matters- and what doesn't.

At work today, I had a fresh, young idealist I work with asking me why I didn't push more for multiple recommendations for a patient.  He knew I had a plethora of ideas of how my patient's life could be made better,  but I focused on one.  "Why didn't you tell her all the other things you would recommend?"  he asked.  "Because, judging by her responses in our exchange, I think I only have enough relationship capital to spend on one thing."  "Huh?" he said.  "Well, I've gotten to the point where I realize if I convince people I'm right on one thing, they are more likely to listen to me on others, so I save those battles for later."  Further elaborating, "If the one thing I said works, she will come back for more.  If I tell her she is doing six things wrong with her dog, she won't listen to me on any."  As I prepare for our Lord's coming at Christmas, I think I have to adapt a little bit of that psychology to my thinking.  If I can just focus on the celebration and anticipation of our Lord's coming to open my heart and to focus on giving of myself (not my baked goods and other stuff) to others, maybe He will help me work on all the other stuff when I'm ready.

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