Thursday, April 5, 2018

Keeping Sunday for the Lord and your sanity.

I tried something this Easter Sunday I haven't done in a long time.  That was to not do any housework and just have family time.  In order to do this, I worked like mad on Saturday and I tried to prep as many things as I could ahead of time, so there would be minimal meal prep on Easter.  It was worth the effort.  I didn't do much and that was the point.  We had "Easter Bunny" time, we went to Mass and we ate and we watched a movie as a family and visited on the phone with a few people.  That was it.

I've always tried to avoid treating Sunday as just any other day.  Since my internship, when I had to work most Sundays (sometimes working from 5 am to Midnight) I have avoided any job where I would have to work Sundays, even occasional Sundays.  To me, unless I was working as an emergency clinician (which I did) the only reason for working Sunday was for the convenience of some owners to get vaccines on Sunday, and that was unnecessary in my eyes as I do believe unless your job is required in an emergency setting, everyone should get a day off, religious or otherwise.

I remember as an emergency veterinarian sometimes working a 12 hour shift, going to Mass, getting an hour of sleep and then working another 12 hour shift.  It was rough.  I think the Lord had to know I tried.  When I was in veterinary school I had a brief stint of trying to not "work" by not studying on Sundays.  That didn't go well, especially when all my professors liked to put exams on Monday mornings.

Being a mom, you pretty much don't get "time off".  I heard lately that a study said that working moms do the equivalent of 2.5 full-time jobs.   I'm fortunate enough that I work part-time as a veterinarian, but my time is taken up by volunteering at school, responsibilities at church and trying to do as many things at home so my husband doesn't have to spend his weekend working either.  With taking my son to swim class (and going for a 2 hour swim with him every week) to standing outside in the rain while he has soccer practice, I occasionally think that working full-time the "traditional way" might have it's perks!  I would actually have a time to check e-mail, even if that was in a designated lunch break.

As I was trying to negotiate a utility bill, the operator chastised me when I told them I was driving (I was in a traffic jam and using handsfree technology).  I tried to explain to the service person that in a traffic jam was the only time I had 30 minutes to listen to their "on hold music" and I wasn't kidding.

My husband had a discussion a while back about why I was forgetful and I assured him it wasn't dementia, but that I had too much on my mind.  As an example, I sent him an e-mail that was basically a "brain dump" of all the random things in my mind that I had to do.  Here's the somewhat eclectic list;

"go to kielbasa store, pick up husbands shirts, do we want cinnamon rolls for Easter?  Check my doctor's message on the patient portal, send Easter card to my parents, e-mail PTA liaison about clothing sale, confirm dates with one clinic, respond to two other clinics regarding dates they requested, pay business insurance, pay business credit card bill, go to barbecue place and get free sandwich : )  make sure we schedule dates for our son for before and aftercare, e-mail that family we were hoping to watch our son over the summer regarding summer care...."  All that was in my head for the short trip from an exit ramp to the door of work, less than 2 minutes.

Yeah- that's not a completely random and frantic train of thought, is it?  I have a hard time shutting off my head a lot of the time.  When I'm a veterinarian, I'm systematic.  Over a decade of training and learning that if I don't do something the same way every time, I'm going to miss something.  Somehow as a parent, and regular human, I haven't found my "system".  I'm sure this is the way with a lot of people now a days.  I think maybe my smartphone is somewhat of an enemy.  With people being able to text message and e-mail and expect prompt responses it just puts us all the more in a spin cycle.  On the night of my birthday, I found myself almost getting guilt-tripped into working for someone on my family's day off and I found myself trying to find other doctors to help someone who was in a bad situation.  I think it's kind of sad that there were at least 5 of us veterinarians all texting each other at 10 pm (though I guess it says something about us that we all like to try to take care of each other).

We are all on a frantic rush, sometimes I try to intentionally lose my phone, but then people get annoyed that I didn't answer and my voicemail is full.  Do we remember, back in the good old days, when you sometimes had to play phone tag with people for weeks?  We all survived.  We all survived when we weren't able to pass on forwards or get instant answers.  I surely can't get rid of my smartphone (though sometimes I'd like to) but I do have to have boundaries, we all do.  My small action of taking back my Sunday is not going to return me to a day gone by.  But maybe, just maybe it will give my brain enough of a rest that I'll remember not to put my keys in the refrigerator.

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