Some ways to promote empathy in your child

As a parent of a toddler, I am not an "expert", but I thought I would share some ways I try to promote empathy in my child.  I did a lot of research about this after my toddler had some behavior (which I found out was normal), in which I became a little alarmed at his lack of empathy.  Then I found out that children aren't truly able to develop empathy until they are closer to three or four.  But... it's never too early to start.

1) When we hear a siren or see an ambulance of firetruck, we try to say a brief prayer for whoever those emergency workers are going to help.

2) When my son either accidentally or intentionally (I'll be honest) bumps into our dog/cat or another child, I immediately show concern for the victim, then I talk to my son about how we need to respect others (especially the 6.5 pound 15 year old cat).

3) When reading a story, or in the rare times he watches Sesame Street or another show, if something distressing happens to a character, we talk about it and discuss how sometimes things can make other people upset and what we can do to make things better.  Also, if we see someone upset, we don't ignore it, we try to do something to help, even if it's just saying a couple of words or saying a prayer.

4) Setting an example.  I'm not always the most patient or empathetic person (that may be an understatement).  I try to realize how what I do sets an example for him.  We live in a metropolitan area and unfortunately there is a rather large homeless population.  There is a whole other topic of giving to homeless people, but I think one of the basic things we can do is to acknowledge their presence.  They are people.  They do deserve acknowledgement.  Now while I do not want to contribute to alcoholism or drug abuse, one of my high school friends had given me the tip to carry McDonalds gift cards around to give to them.  I had forgotten about this for a while (there is also the concern of safety, especially with a small child with homeless people as a lot of the homeless in our area also are mentally ill.)  However, the other day was an EXTREMELY hot day and my son and I were out for a walk.  While I know our city has cooling areas, I also understand the problem of homelessness is multifactorial.  I was walking my son to a fountain and walked by some men trying to keep cool.  On our way back, I asked if they would like a gift card to McDonalds to get something cool to drink.  A man came over and gratefully took the card.  My son was a silent observer to all of this.  He didn't say anything (he is just two), but I know he was taking the whole situation in.  Hopefully he will learn the lesson that every person has dignity and you do what you can do.

What tips do you have for developing empathy in a child?  I'd love to hear them.  Thanks!

Different Ways I Try To Save Money and Create A College Savings- Part 1

1) Live within our means.  This is one that I think everyone tries to work on.  Fortunately my parents and husband's parents have been good role models, but in this culture it is always something people struggle with.  With so many "cool" things out there, it's always easy to want something bigger, better and more convenient.  Just as my toddler is often more fascinated by the "upcycled" items I give him to play with (empty spice bottles, surplus kitchen supplies).  One of his favorite items is a empty milk jug with clothes pins to put in and take out (this idea obtained off of Pinterest).  It reminds me that sometimes the simpler things are actually better than the expensive ones.

2) Cut coupons.  Both my husband and I are couponers.  In this modern day, it's more than just looking through the Sunday paper and clipping.  We use different programs such as Ibotta and Checkout 51 on our everyday items (you can save more when you buy specific items they are promoting, but sometimes by buying items you wouldn't otherwise buy, you aren't saving money).  You can also use brand websites such as Earthbound Farms, Betty Crocker and Stonyfield organics. All have websites that offer specific coupons

3) Pampers, Huggies, Kellogs Rewards websites.   My son's favorite Christmas gift was actually free.  On the Pampers reward site you can enter product codes and get "gifts" every 3 months plus with the Gifts to Grow program, a gift at the end of a year (and you can continue to do this as long as your child is in diapers).  You can also earn points for Mother's Day, your child's birthday and reading articles or posting comments.  There are lots of ways to get points and the rewards are pretty good.  My son got his Step Two Basketball Hoop and a Melissa and Doug music set.  Huggies rewards site you can earn gift cards and other great items, plus coupons off of diapers.  Kelloggs Family Rewards you can link loyalty cards to and also enter in codes to get free products and more.

4) Amazon Prime.  We love Amazon Prime.  I think this should be a must on any baby registry.  Because really, who wants to be making multiple trips to different stores when there is a new baby in the house.  I really loved how I could order diapers, wipes and bottle parts at 3 am in the morning and have them delivered within 2 days.  I also use it to order some household items.  As with everything, you have to shop around, but I found the diapers to be less expensive than Costco at times and often the toilet paper is less expensive and I get to pick exactly the brand I want.  Plus, when the 40 rolls arrive my son has had great fun building toilet paper roll towers and driving his pirate ship into it.

5) Swagbucks and other survey sites.  I do Swagbucks and generally only answer the survey question and the "No Obligation Special Offer", as I like to be careful about how much personal information I give out.  I occasionally do surveys on the site (it was fun to give a restaurant chain feedback on new meal options) and if there is an offer on something I buy anyways, I will try to do it through this website.
www.swagbucks.com/refer/dvmhope
I've already gotten a $25 gift card for something that takes me a couple of minutes a day.


To be continued...

Just when things seem to calm down

It was a bittersweet moment when I realized that my son has made it to the point where he can contentedly play upstairs (we have a townhouse) in his room (with a baby gate on the door) and I can actually get things done downstairs (like preparing a meal and cleaning!) with the baby monitor still on of course.  It's nice to be able to get stuff done independently (although it's another sign of how fast he is growing up).

He did great, reading to himself and not even making a mess in his room.  Fast-forward an hour or so later and I am working on something in the kitchen (we have a fairly open floor-plan with a look-through area in the kitchen).  I looked up periodically and could see my son playing and having fun in our living room.  Then.... I heard it... the pattern of noise any mom of a toddler knows is like a siren... A mix of giggles and silence.  I couldn't see him within my sight-line.  I came into the living room and found him as proud as punch with his trampoline on top of the couch and him jumping on it.  It did not take him more than a minute to create this set up and he was proud and giddy (now he could really see the neighborhood from our window).  I had a freak-out moment and got him off as fast as I could, but a small part of me felt sad for taking away his accomplishment.  I told him, "while that was a really original idea and you must be so proud, mommy is concerned about your safety and doesn't want you to get an owie."  All he saw was his originality being crushed...  I am sure, though,
he will find other equally great and dangerous ideas in the future.  Just as you take a deep breath as a mother that your child is growing in independence and is able to do more on their own, the flip side of that coin presents itself...

Fortunately he was not hurt.  However, another hour later, he bent over next to a small end-table very quickly and slammed into it so hard that he gave himself a black eye.  I count him and myself fortunate that he didn't fall off of his trampoline escapade...

Homemade Vanilla, berries and a green bean recipe

This past week has been a fairly busy week and as my running partner commented, "you guys are traveling A LOT this summer."  Yes, my running schedule has been kind of taking second (or third) fiddle.  The garden is looking pretty good.

Here in the Mid-Atlantic we got a lot of rain (as I think a lot of the rest of the country has gotten too).  My tomatoes will hopefully survive.  In one of my crazy "homesteader" moments, I decided to plant watermelon and pumpkins in some pots in the backyard.

Our backyard is composed more of clover than it is of grass and my husband and I are not really motivated to change it as the weeds from neighboring yards and common areas would ultimately take over our yard anyway.  Another big reason is we have a dog.

Our townhouse backyard is used more for him than it is for us.  Most of my gardening occurs upstairs in this great elevated, large planter my parents got for me.  It's great because no pests/squirrels, etc. get into it and I don't have to worry about my dog eliminating in my green beans.  Win-win.  Anyways, I decided pumpkins and watermelons are pretty protected from doggy gifts.  I also thought, our backyard already looks like a rain forest, so it wouldn't really wreck the appearance to have some plants there.  Well... when we got back from our last vacation, my husband commented that there was some plant that was climbing up our fence.  It actually appears like it could be out of "Jack and the Beanstalk".  My husband asked if it was the watermelon or the pumpkin.  I told him by the looks of it, I would guess the pumpkin.  The seed packet said "Giant Pumpkins, up to 100 pounds".  I didn't really believe that... But we will see : )

My green beans are looking good, I am making my first batch of one of my favorite green bean recipes I came up with randomly:

Meg's Mediterranean Green Beans:

Green Beans (1-2 handfuls), I usually boil them, but have done frozen and canned when needed.
2-3 Tbsp Olive oil
2-3 Tbsp Balsamic vinegar
Abundant feta cheese (I like to use Trader Joe's mediterranean blend feta cheese)
Oregano to taste

The pumpkins' success must be due to the fertility of our backyard.  Our backyard does not seem to be good for growing grass, but it seems good for growing everything else.  My raspberry bush, which I planted when we moved in about 3 years ago, is taking off as usual and is almost bionic, it even tries growing up between our paving stones and has taken out other plants.   I got about a pint of a raspberries from it daily last year.  I trimmed it back to the size of a medium planter and the thing has still taken off.

Next to the bush is a composter I got through our county.  (Check out if your county has a composting program, I actually was able to get the composter for free through Whole Foods and being a county resident).  Due to being a townhome and close to a large city, I don't compost food, mostly plants and old soil, some cardboard and newsprint.  Next to that is a potted grape vine which gave me two large containers of Concord grapes last year and is also bionic.  I actually gave a friend some clippings from my raspberry bush last year and she said it is taking off in her yard too.  The funny thing is, I asked the nursery I got the plant from, what is a good or organic way to keep it under control?  They said that they've really never had a problem, most people complain about the plants failure to thrive.  Hmm.

I also finally got around to making another batch of homemade vanilla.  This is super easy, makes great gifts for people at Christmas (it takes 4-6 months of sitting fairly passively, so now is the time to do it).   It's also very economical and money saving to make your own if you do a lot of holiday baking and it's better quality than what I have found in most normal grocery stores.

http://heavenlyhomemakers.com/making-homemade-vanilla-extract-aka-why-laura-bought-a-gallon-of-vodka

I used the above recipe and ordered the Madagascar vanilla beans from Olive Nation (see below link, where I believe you get a 10% off your first order, this post contains affiliate links, and if you make a purchase I may receive a small commission at no cost to you).

http://www.olivenation.com/Default.aspx?rc=7350464


Last year I simply gathered all the leftover vodka that seemed to accumulate in my household and my parents' (it's amazing how many people bring vodka to parties/get-togethers and how much is just sitting around).  This year I broke down and bought a bottle.

So that's what I've been up to (plus another trip back to the midwest for an excellent family reunion and time for my son with his grandparents).

Bubbles and Pete

A month or so ago, we got a coupon booklet in the mail from a local shopping plaza.  They have a fish and aquarium store and had a coupon for a free Beta fish.  I had been thinking about it for a while as something my son might like.  He has really liked seeing fish in the past and Tuesday morning he was in a classroom that had a fish and got really excited about it.  We ran some errands Tuesday and unfortunately he fell asleep in the car during lunchtime, before he had eaten lunch.  Recipe for a grumpy kid.  After we got home, and I tried to get him to go asleep again, it was about 45 minutes of grumpiness, tantrums, hitting and wrestling and did I say tantrums?  He was hungry and sleepy and I don't think he knew which was more important to him.  When he was past reaching the end of the rope and I was on my way, I asked him if he wanted to have a picnic outside.  This slowed down his tears (not a full stop) and he became curious as to what this might mean.  I grabbed the lunch I had been trying to get him to eat and took it to the back porch.  We went to the porch and he slowly calmed down a little, because this was a new experience for him.  I also remembered hearing someone say a great recipe for tantrums (kids and adults) is to blow bubbles.  I blew some bubbles and he tried to blow bubbles and it slowed both of our respiratory rates down and got oxygen flowing.  He then ate a TON of his food calmly.  Crisis averted.

I now had a kid though that had only had a 30 minute nap when the previous day he had had a 3 hour nap.  He was sleep deprived.  As he was about to go into more tantrums, I told him we would go get a "fishy".  He was curious.  What did this mean?   He threw a little tantrum, but was trying to figure out why I was putting him in the car, so he didn't give it his all.  We went to the aquarium store (which also had a fountain he was mesmerized by) and went up and down the aisles looking at all the fish.  He was almost as happy as when we had gone to the Baltimore aquarium.  Mental note- in the future when there are winter days and we have to get out of the house, a trip to the fish store is not a bad idea...

We went over to the beta fish and I picked out a beautiful, bold blue fish and asked him if he would like it.  He said blue fish.  I decided to truly give him a decision I needed to give him two different options.  I saw a very active orange fish (looked more like a goldfish than a beta fish to me, and my husband agreed).  He said "orange fish".  I asked him did he want the orange fish or blue fish, assuming he, like me would be more attracted to the bright bold blue.  Nope.  He was insistent on the orange fish.

When we got home he was fascinated by his fishy and repeatedly tried to "pet" it.  I had suggested that we might name his new pet "Pete" after a character in his favorite book series.  If you haven't read them it's a pretty cute series by Eric Litwin, "Pete The Cat: I Love My White Shoes".  My son then began calling his fish, "Pete the Cat".  My mom asked how Duchess the (real) Cat likes Pete the Cat.  So far, so good, but when they can't be supervised, Pete the Cat comes up to mommy and daddy's bedroom (out of the cat and dog zone).

5 Things that Make My Life easier

1) My Smart Phone.  I am of the generation that the first cellphones were large, shoe-box size boxes that you could keep in your car.  I did not have a cell phone until I was a senior in college.  I can not think of living without it long-term.  I do think it has a place and a time and I would like to keep my son from getting a cell phone until he is driving.  We will see how that works out.  I think it's very easy to become addicted to our devices, so I do try to go without it at times so I don't develop a dependency.  But let's face it, my schedule, my calendar, my grocery list, my to do list, my access to Liturgy of the Hours (a prayer resource), podcasts, news updates, e-mail and texting all do help keep my life organized and connected.

My smart phone definitely does make my life easier, but it's good to go without it when on vacation and other times, to know I don't NEED it at all times.  The American Society of Pediatrics has seen a rise in playground and other childhood injuries related to parents being distracted on their cell phones.  There is also some concern that in children the radiation from the cell phone is twice as high in the brains of children and 10 times as high in the bone marrow of children as it is in adults.  I am trying to keep my cell phone away from my son as much as I can, or turn it onto airplane mode.
http://healthland.time.com/2012/07/20/pediatricians-call-on-the-fcc-to-reconsider-cell-phone-radiation-standards/

2) Immersion Blender.  I love my immersion blender.  I use it for smoothies, soups, homemade salsa and more.  It is a time-saving wonderful kitchen device that I continually use.  I like to make strawberry, pineapple smoothies with a little bit of kale thrown in (not enough to make it taste like kale) and am always looking for more recipes to try.  I also like making fresh salsa with it, which is way more tasty than store-bought and helps save money and is great with fresh cilantro and tomatoes.

3) Spot Bot Pet.  My Spot Bot was a wedding gift that has possibly saved our marriage.  With the dog, cat and baby, we get all sorts of stains all over.  I love that I can just put it on top of whatever substance anyone does and it sucks it up, cleans it and steams the area while I'm away getting other stuff taken care of.  It also has worked well with its attachment on our microfiber furniture.  (In retrospect, as a pet owner, I would probably stay away from microfiber in the future, it sometimes seems like it's just a giant tape-roller).

4) Roomba.  Our Roomba is not 100% great at keeping the floor free from pet hair and crumbs (it is an older model, so maybe they have gotten better with the newer versions).  It is great at at least keeping the coating of hair at bay.  My son actually was the one who when he was messing with it taught me it can be set on a schedule (he also changed it to speak in German and go off at midnight, a task that he completed in 2 minutes and took me 30 minutes and a online tutorial to reverse).  I still try to use the regular vacuum to get problem spots and do a thorough cleaning, but the Roomba is great at at least getting big material and removing a layer 2-3x a week when everyone else is away from the house.

5) Creuset- Dutch oven.  I use this quite frequently to make the bread I talked about previously.
http://www.jocooks.com/bakery/breads/crusty-bread/.  I find it works best with King Arthur bread flour and letting it sit 10 hours.  I have also added Asiago cheese to it and made it nice and tasty.  I'm trying to stay away from bread, but this is still really tasty and I know it is completely free of treenut allergens.  I also created a recipe in this that my husband loves.  It's one dish-nachos.  I'm kind of lazy when it comes to washing dishes.  I really don't enjoy it.  One night as a newlywed, I browned the meat in the Creuset and then kind of shimmied it all to one side and then put down tortilla chips.  Then I flipped the meat over onto that side and put the chips down on the other side.  I like to mix it taco seasoning (and stewed tomatoes to stretch the meat and make it a little healthier.  I will add in onions and beans as well.  To top it off, I will put cheddar cheese and move the pot from the stove to the oven and cook it in the oven at about 300 F for about 6 minutes (or until the cheese is melted).

Just thought I'd share some of the things that make my life easier : )

Celebration of 1,000 Views

In celebration of 1,000 views (and to get some feedback).  I'd like to do a raffle... This could be fun : )

Any comments I receive during the month of July will be put into a raffle for a free prize.  Ideas for the free prize include something from my Etsy shop or a copy of All Creatures Great and Small.  Let me know what you prefer : )

This week has been a hard week to eat healthy (as we have been on vacation and traveling).  It's hard to make healthy choices on the road.  Also hard with a toddler who is addicted to carbohydrates and french fries.   We have fortunately found out that his food allergy is not as broad as what we were once told, but that is also a whole other issue to navigate.

It was also interesting when I went to board my dog overnight and was told he was due for a vaccine. As I multiple times told the technician that, "I am a veterinarian, I take care of my dog's vaccines and he is up to date," she was still trying to convince me my dog needed more vaccines.  For anyone who is interested in finding out what the standard recommendations for canine vaccines are, check out the following:

https://www.aaha.org/public_documents/professional/guidelines/caninevaccineguidelines.pdf

Vaccines do have regional differences (for example, in an area that doesn't have Lyme disease, Lyme vaccine would not be recommended, etc.).  However, overall as an industry, we are finding out that we do not need to vaccinate as frequently as we previously did for some vaccines, while others should get boostered more frequently.  Use the above guidelines to educate yourself and start a discussion with your veterinarian for what is best for your dog.